Hi. My name's Em. For like a while I have been very confused because I thought I was pan or bi. But I'm not sure I actually have an attraction to guys, just like the idea of dating them. But if I think about sex with a guy it just feels icky. I'm not sure if it is just me being a virgin that makes it seem icky, or if I don't actually like boys. It;s weird. I am sure I like girls D (I mean dayum) but it is just confusing because as a person I am all for falling in love with the person, and not the gender but now I've been checking some stuff and I just don't feel it in that way....?????? :0000 Any answers/help to this weird feeling is much obliged. Thanks for reading
I can relate to some of this somewhat. I have had a boyfriend. Sex was... nice? Idk, but imagining that with 98% of the guys that I know. Hn. No. Being with a girl on the other hand... I would want a girlfriend before a boyfriend, for sure. No idea why. Because like you, I don't think it's about gender, more the person. There are still some guys that are really cute, in looks and personality, who I am attracted to. The answer is... well, I have no idea what the answer is :rolle: Date a girl if you want to date a girl, date a guy if you find a guy you end up wanting to date. I think it's totally rational to say to yourself "Well, hey, gender doesn't matter. Loving the person is what matters." but then if something inside of you doesn't feel that, then don't worry. Whatever. Be attracted to attractive people, date people you're attracted to and happy being in a relationship with. If that person or gender becomes a problem, and you are conscious of it, hopefully you will know soon enough if it is right or not. I have sooooo given up on labels
Hi Em You say that you don't like the idea of having sex with guys, do you have a romantic attraction or no attraction whatsoever? If you're still romantically attracted but not sexually then maybe you're panromantic? But if you're only romantically attracted to binary genders then biromantic would be the term. Polysexual is where you're sexually attracted to more than one but not all genders. I hoped this helped at least a little, questioning can be tough!
You don't always feel sexual feelings kn the same way that you feel romantic feelings. For example, you may be homosexual but bi-romantic. Meaning you get romantic feelings for both males and females but only get sexual feelings from girls. Maybe it is the virginity, I'm not sure, I'm still a virgin and I definitely feel sexual feelings towards both males and females (I say that but gender doesn't really matter to me, I think... that's something I'd actually have to experiment with) I can't remember what it's called but there's an orientation (if I'm remembering correctly) that is actually based more on personality, as in sexual attraction to someone's personality. It seems weird to me, not sure how it works but hey, people feel it. Hope this helps!
