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Can anime/tv/things make you gay?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Owlian, Sep 11, 2015.

  1. Owlian

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    (I'm a 20 y/o female) TL;DR at bottom

    A few years ago I first watched an anime where the two female characters were supposedly canon. Now, it was pretty vague and is honestly depicted as a very obsessive, serious friendship but it has some slight implications. It's totally PG-13 and these two girls (who are like 14) don't even kiss or become a couple, they're just very close.

    Before I watched this particular anime, I never considered myself gay or bi or anything and in all honesty I thought vaginas were disgusting and nipples were weird and bizarre and I never imagined myself being with a girl just guys who i found attractive however I don't think I found them sexually attractive because I never thought about having sex with them. kissing, yes, but nothing past that did anything for me.

    Anyway so the first time I watched it in 2012, I didn't really think much about it and I didn't feel anything for it or them I just liked the anime and thought it was sad and whatever. Now, at this time I had been in a relationship with long distance ex boyfriend for a year. I saw him every few months since he only lived 6 hours away, and we would hangout for a few days at a time (and a month in the summer once) and it was great and I thought I was attracted to him but looking back I've realized now that I definitely wasn't sexually attracted to him because I didn't enjoy kissing him that much (especially making out. ugh haha) or anything sexual at all.

    Fast forward to a year in advanced around the same time but in 2013. I rewatched the anime and since I knew what happened in the end, I was extremely involved and it was so tragic and i fell in love with the characters and their relationship. I started to follow fandoms, read fanfictions like crazy and I loved them and honestly the yuri erotica shit I read did in fact turn me on and i absolutely loved it all and i was obsessed for months. Now, I concluded this was because I liked the theme, story, characters by themselves, etc. However what freaked me out is that I ventured off into another anime that had lesbians and I really enjoyed that one too even though i wasn't in LOVE with them or the story as much as the other. So I got confused and weirded out.

    Anyway, so I became obsessed for a good year and during that year I ended it with my ex boyfriend for a lot of reasons, one being as i stated before i wasn't attracted to him and i felt like i didn't love him anymore. After that, guys asked me out and i always declined because i "didn't want to be in a relationship" and no one that asked me out, no matter how good looking they were really sparked anything for me. And during this time, I had a lot of fantasies about being with women instead of men and I really enjoyed the idea of it.

    Later that year (2014) I unsuspectingly became romantically involved with a woman and fell in love with her. I loved every aspect of our relationship - even sexually. all of it. (which this relationship was a lot shorter than my ex boyfriend who i never had sex with)
    i felt amazing with her, like nothing before. and i never planned to be in a relationship but it happened because i never expected to be captured by a woman but instead just men asking me out which i felt uncomfortable with. but with her, i just wanted to become more closer to her and i just became really involved and i didn't want to break away. I had all symptoms of a hardcore crush during the beginning of us talking and everything was so much more intense than it had been for years.

    So I'm wondering what changed. Because in high school (even before my ex bf) i was always thinking about guys, drawing them, crushing on guys, etc. And with my ex bf i was still attracted to cute guys and stuff. (however im pretty sure i had 2 crushes on girls in high school that i didn't realize until recently due to my introspection and reevaluating things) And even now I still feel like I should be with a guy but when the opportunity arises, I become scared and uncomfortable and anxious.

    I just want to know what happened

    TL;DR - crushed on guys who life. didnt like my only ex boyfriends dick. watched an anime twice. gay fandom w/ chars. yuri fanfiction. crushed, dated & loved a girl. has become gay. afraid of men. doesnt understand what happened. doesnt know what to do or think.

    Thank you for reading it if you did as it has some importance vs the TL;DR
     
  2. Alder

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    TV shows, anime, books, they can't make you gay. I'm just going to say that off the bat. Nothing can make you gay, but media can make you realize that you're gay, or not straight- something that you would have realized later down the line anyways. They can spark some sort of realization and maybe building on that people might begin to question/explore their sexuality and realize they aren't straight. That's all fine and in fact I think it's not uncommon, but it wasn't the TV show that made you gay.

    As for the appearance of your attraction/interest in women even though before you might not have been interested in them at all/not into the idea of being with one, that's not uncommon either. We aren't born and raised in a society where same sex attractions are normalized and healthily supported from a very young age as heterosexual attractions are. That can lead to a lot, if not all, of same sex attraction and interest suppressed and denied for a long time until they appear or are realized later down the line. This suppression can be quite unconscious and it can lead to us thinking that we had 0 same sex interest before even though that might not be the case- we just didn't realize it or it was just pushed down.

    As for your interest in men before and your crushes on guys, I can't tell how much of it was genuine and I'm not going to tell you for certain that all of it was real or all of it wasn't real. But like I said, heterosexuality is enforced from a young age. Sometimes that can sustain feelings for a gender you're not actually interested in for a long time, because it's what most of society tells us we should feel. Maybe some of your focus on guys could be explained by that. Also sometimes when you realize your attraction to the same sex your other attractions can fade or die off completely when you re-evaluate what you want/realize something new and look back in hindsight, so that's not unusual. Give it some time and see how you feel- you might be gay, likewise, you might be bi/pan.

    I know the past can be confusing because of all the conflicting signs. But I think it's most important to think about how you feel and what you want now. Who you are attracted to now, sexually and romantically, matters- especially since you've seem to already come quite a way with your sexuality and exploring it. Good luck.
     
  3. andimon

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    I have said this in a different context, but things and experiences you think may have "turned" you gay are just early indicators of your sexuality, not causes.
     
  4. Owlian

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    Thank you to both of you. You've certainly given me some insight and I am grateful. What you've said has made sense and I will absolutely keep that in mind.
     
  5. biAnnika

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    No, things cannot make you gay. You either are or you aren't.