Can't talk long. I'm at work but I need to get this out and I hope yall have some thoughts. I'm currently in my depressed state of mind where I only want to crawl in a hole. When I get like this I want comfort from a guy and I always check out guys. But after I'm able to hang out with my friends or "friends" (who knows at this point if they really are) for a few days. I start to feel like I matter in this world. And my confidence goes up. But when my confidence goes up I don't want comfort from guys and I check out girls. Does this have more to do with my depression/anxiety over my sexuality or is this my sexuality changing or something else. Sorry. I'm just lonely right now. Both physically and in my brain that just wants to turn off.
Hello hiimpaul2014. Sorry for what you are going through. It seems difficult to say about your orientation from what you mention above. In general, whom are you attracted to, in day to day life? Physically? emotionally? I understand the need for comfort that you mention, do you however get attracted to guys, when you aren't feeling low?
Levi. I didn't know there was a name for that. Myself123 in general i guess it's mostly guys but I'm typically always low. When I'm not low it's girls. or my brain goes completely blank when I'm between happy and sad. Just done with things. Kind of feeling. But I know that's the depression saying you shouldn't like people as they don't like you. (Friend wise or something else). I guess it's because growing up I didn't really have any friends that it has paralyzed me from making ones now.
I can identify with some of the above. Whenever you are attracted to guys, is it any different in terms of intensity or the kind, in relation to when you feel attraction towards girls? Do you feel you have a preference, who do you see yourself dating? in the long term, who would be more emotionally and physically fulfilling to be with?
I typically see myself romantically with girls but there is this one guy. But he makes me feel like I matter and I can be myself around him. The more I think the more I like him. But is it just because he is one of the two people in my life that make me feel like I matter to people? But lately he has been distant and unwilling to do anything with me. He actually really hurt me a couple weeks ago and I'm still shaken by it. I don't know anymore. I should probably talk to a professional or something.
I understand. Apart from seeing yourself with girls romantically, what about the physical component? You would know it best for yourself, but whenever you are with someone, it shouldn't feel forced in any sense. Let it be organic and see where it takes you. We're always here to support you
