Hello guys, I have a big lesbian crush on my new roommate, because she's one of the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She so insanely beautiful; big brown eyes, long dark hair, perfect lips (it's insane!!), a beautiful smile, perfect cheekbones..... etc. If I could rate her; she's at least a 9. The first time me and my other roommate had dinner with her she told us about her first kiss.. with a girl (the only time she kissed a girl?). I was really damn jealous that it wasn't me who kissed her. My problem is; I think I'm straight, but I have had my lesbian crushes and now I'm confused again. As in I think about this girl A LOT, drives me crazy. I don't know what to do. This summer I went to Asia and met a girl with clubbing. It was the first time I kissed a girl, but I didn't really feel a lot.. But the same vacation I thought another girl I met actually had a crush on me. When I confessed to her I liked her"aswell", she was so surprised and told me she wasn't gay. I felt like a total fool.. Making all these assumptions in my head. I'm so fucking scared that the same will happen to me if I try to discover my feelings with my roommate (the consequences). She gives me slightly interested looks, gets a bit flushed when we talk now and then, is a bit curious about lesbians (she asked me today if I've kissed girls on a gay party I went with a gay friend. When she asked, I farted accidentally and my roomies heard it... so far so good.. not!). I don't know what she thinks about me and if I'm crazy to try something, because shes a pretty feminine girl like me (small change shes lesbian?) I just wanna kiss her..! If shes gay shes not out of my league I guess (if I may say that), I get a lot of attention of boys like her.. It really pains me to have this attention from others but not from her. She also thinks I'm boy crazy already, because I like flirting a little and have these boys around me. She also told me about a guy whos ignoring her after she rejected him, and that she doesnt like this change of attention for her. I fucking hate this situation. Help me please. How can I get a kiss of this girl? :icon_redf
Well if you're still not sure if she's gay, you could try doing some more hinting around and stuff. Maybe talking more about any past relationships you had (first boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.) or talk to her about LGBT+ issues. Also, her being feminine doesn't decrease the chance that she's a lesbian, you never know. But if you do find out she's gay and you're still unsure about how real your feelings are, then don't just rush into things because you want to kiss her. I know that's hard (I'm in a similar situation right now) but just remember that if she is gay and it turns out she could have feelings for you then her feelings are very real so only pursue it if you think you'd be ready for that. Or just be honest with her. If she is gay, you could just straight up tell her you think you like her/you might like to kiss her but only if she wants to, that sort of thing. It seems like this is a real crush though by the way you explained it, so if you think you're ready for that then go for it! Don't worry about labels or anything. If you like this girl and she's gay/bi and likes you too then that's fantastic! I know you reeally want to kiss her but just remember to take things at a good pace and make sure you feel out the situation first, then you should be fine Best of luck!
Thanks so much for your reply! I will try the hinting yes and feel out the situation, but I don't trust my own judgement anymore about if a girl really likes me. A lot of girls are just not readable in true feelings. Also some just like some girl attention I guess.. I'm afraid she is like that maybe. I don't know anything other to do now then just stare at her with admiration and be extra nice and try to flirt. I'm afraid I already ruined things with my boytalk :S I kind of made up for that by replying to her about the gayparty, that I didn't see a nice girl in my opinion because they where not feminine enough to my taste (no offence). I wonder what she makes of all my different signals.
My 'gaydar' is pretty on point (if there is such a thing ) and I have noticed one thing : Chicks that are bi-curious and possibly/often interested in me or other females are the ones that will bring up that ' one time at a party when they made out with another girl for fun 'of course ' :rolle: " or any other experience they had with a girl previous to knowing me or even recently. Then they'll return the question at some point, casually of course, but they will, ( probably to figure out whether or not I'd be into it) and then it's all about the gazes. Then they will also make sure to mention how straight they are and how they were drunk and how it was for fun and ' oh there is a cute guy over there :rolle: ' to confuse the heck out of you lol (otherwise that's not fun ) So only judging by your situation I would say that you have chances. Obviously there is no exact ways to find out whether she would be bi or not but so far all the chicks that have done what your roommate have done have happened to be bi-curious and into me (at least a little.) But those girls were also in a lot of denials and a lot of them. One specifically, really messed up with my head. So I would beware because as stereotypical as it may be 'those girls' (the ones I have mentioned) are the kind to full-on make out with you and then blame it on the alcohol/ you because they are so straight and 'of course' wouldn't do it sober. So if she does happen to be into you make sure to have a chat before anything actually happen about what the both of you want/expect/ think etc... to avoid any possible heartaches and to preserve your friendship in case things go wrong. (After all you live together so you want to keep it as civil and non-awkward as possible) Also, and that's only my interpretation of things so feel free to ignore but I don't think you are straight at all. Straight people don't have 'lesbian crushes' and have no interest in kissing (let alone being) with someone of the same sex. I know what you feel though as I was a 100 percent sure I was straight, not even 6 months ago, even though I had had crushes on girls, and sex with one ( ! ) , denial can be massive when you don't wanna see it nor hear it. Accepting my bisexuality lifted a massive weight off my shoulders and I am so glad I did because the confusion I felt every time I looked at an attractive girl and developed a crush was killing me. I laugh at the fact that I thought I was straight all this time now 'cause looking back I was just sooo 'bi' but coming out and talking to 'real' straight friends now, I realize how far from straight I was and how those 'girl crushes' isn't something every straight chick go through.
Wow thank you so much for your reply Linning!!... I'm really excited for having at least a small change, but I don't know how realistic that is. Wow damn I would do anything for just make out once. But that's like impossible to have a chat about it with a girl like that right? They only do things like that without thinking about it.. So if u really bring it to the table they would be scared away? She only lives here in my house for a certain time because shes an international student (about a year). Maybe shes going to stay in my country longer she said. So I'm not very scared about a too long time of awkwardness I guess. I just want to experience this love if it is there.. It is clear to me that I do make her awkward somehow (maybe just because I act more and less akward around her), but I don't know how to handle this further. She is somehow ignoring me (like if our other roommate is away, she closes her door a lot of the time). But on the other hand she gets a little bit flushed as we talk and we can laugh together. Yesterday we where in my room together, I was helping her with something. I was just staring whole the time at her being cute, beautiful and awesome. Just a little bit flirty and I think she knew? I think I got a little bit of interest back, really a little. But I also think she is scared maybe and that there is a change I can't judge it right.. I reaally want to know what she thinks about me and if I make a change. I'm even planning to maybe bring my stupid ass ex-boyfriend home, to just see what she does if I'm with someone else (really bad I know). Is there someone who can help me further with this? :,(
