how long do most people question themselves for?

I questioned myself for about 5 months, but there's a lot of variables about how long you take, including religion, family upbringing, region, stuff like that. In other words, it varies from person to person.

 

I don't know of anyone who's done that, but I've been questioning for a while too. Same as you, my orientation's still pretty unclear to me.
There are definitely a lot of variables that can affect it as EmOfSurbia said: religion, upbrining. These can make you harbour a bit of internalized homophobia in some cases. But there are a lot of other things that can make it unclear. For me it's that I'm not easily attracted to or like people in general so it's hard to tell. Also, I think the stress of questioning has made it harder for me to tell who I'm attracted to since I'm thinking about it so much.
So there are a lot of things that could affect it and it can vary a lot from person to person. I know the whole questioning thing's frustrating and I'm hear if you ever wanna talk or vent about things.

---------- Post added 14th Sep 2015 at 11:17 PM ----------

By the way, make sure you try to be open with yourself about the fact that you could be bisexual, or prefer one gender, etc. I don't know if this is an issue for you but I know it's something I need to work on and it makes it harder to accept what your feeling if you aren't open with yourself.

 

I've been questioning forever it seems like. (about 3 years and 1/2 years ) since 6th grade really but I came out to one person as questioning sort of or actually I came out as not straight. It's confusing but now I'm at the point where I just really want to come out but I don't know for sure what I am. Do you feel like you just really want to be out? It's literally all I think about. I could be looking at a rock and be like Wow look at that rock, I think I might be lesbian. weird but true. Anyway I'm sort of answering your question and using that venting thing. I really have no one else to talk to about these things because the the friend that I came out to hasn't said anything about it which I get because she probably thinks I want to figure myself out. I haven't said anything after that either so it's not just her fault. (I think i'm ranting even more) I also feel the same way about the questioning thing making it harder to figure out who I like. It's frustrating. I am also the same about not really liking people it's more like after I talk to them or they smile a certain way ( with their eyes squinted and their nose scrunched and.. ya I could go on and on) but i don't think i'm pan so ya i'll stop now.

I meant to reply to Bubbles123 I'm still getting used to this website.

 

I don't personally know anyone who questioned and then ended up being straight. Then again, I can't speak for everyone.

Questioning varies hugely for anyone. The age you start questioning, also the time span. This goes for both sexuality and gender but as this is in the sexuality forum I'll focus on that.

I personally started subconsciously wondering two to three years back about my sexuality, and I've been seriously questioning/figuring out my sexuality for more than a year now. It's still pretty ongoing. Some people figure stuff out pretty quickly, some people take a long time- especially since there can be a lot to work through. Good luck with your questioning- two years isn't too long or too short or too anything. It all very much depends on the person.

 

Well, to be honest next month will be my one year of questioning my sexuality. And I still haven't figure it out who I can really see myself with. It does have a lot to do with religion even though I always believed that you should be with someone who loves you no matter what gender. However, my parents believed that marriage should be with a man and a woman but I know that they will love me even if I turned out not to be straight after all. But still, I truly hope that one day soon my questioning will stop soon because there are days when it made me depress because I have no idea at who I am. I just hope one day I can find myself so don't worry about how long that will take okay? Some people will take years before finally realizing who they truly are. So don't worry about how long you have been questioning

 

I'll answer that in 2 ways. As a teenager I had plenty of moments I should have noticed I wasn't straight. Plenty of times checking out guys, getting really close with guys, etc. but repressed those thoughts because a decade ago society was not quite as it is today, and being gay was an insult.

It wasn't until my early 20s with my last girlfriend that I really noticed I just wasn't into her, even though she was attractive and we got along amazingly. I really started to notice I was staring at guys when I would go out, or when watching porn I wasn't looking at the girls. From then, it was 2 years of questioning / semi-depression where I sort of withdrew and wondered just what the heck I was feeling. I reconnected with an old childhood friend who's gay and it was through talking to him (as well discovering gay media such as Drawn Together - my avatar is a character from the show) that I was able to put my feelings out there and have them by validated by someone else who "gets it." So from then, I had my first kiss with a guy which basically confirmed what I was feeling - it felt so right, whereas with girls it always felt off - like I was kissing an aunt rather than lover. It took another year from talking to my friend to when I started coming out (by this point I knew I wasn't bi and that girls weren't my romantic or sexual interest).

So in all, probably about 2-3 years of questioning, but you could tack on another decade before that because even around the age of 12, all the clues were there, I just ignored the signs because I desperately wanted to fit in.

 

I started questioning last year June, accepted it this year in March, came out to family also in March, and been coming out to be ever since. I never had a really big issue with being gay, I just got some reason got so hung up on labels that I couldn't figure out who I was.