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friendship? crush?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Theshreks, Sep 15, 2015.

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  1. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    So I started talking to this girl recently and I think I like her. I'm not sure though. We have similar interests and we get along pretty well. By the end of first-day we started talking I felt something. That weird crush-y feeling. I've spent nights in and out of sleep waiting on her replies. Everytime i get an alert on my phone my heart skips a beat hoping it's her. My day feels weird if I haven't talked to her at least once.

    And I just to talk to her all the time. I also get kinda possessive which isn't cool. I just wanna stare at her face for hours sometimes. I don't know this happening kinda fast.
     
    #1 Theshreks, Sep 15, 2015
  2. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    #2 Theshreks, Sep 16, 2015
  3. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    OK I've bumped this once so now I'm gonna vent a little. This is a very hard time for me. I've been dealing with sexuality for a while and this might be the toughest it's ever gotten. Like I said I meet her and I felt that spark. That feeling. You know what I mean if you've felt it.

    I've talked to girls just to see if I still liked them and felt that spark. I never did but she's different. I'm not sure how or why I felt the spark so fast and with her but I did. I didn't want to get into anything gay because I didn't want these feelings to go away.

    Like I was getting aroused to the thought of sex with girls which I thought was dominant or gone forever. Like I felt I understand myself a little better. I don't know she's cool I like her and I don't wanna give this up. I'm having fun you know? And if I'm gay I'll have to give it up.

    I feel like I do Ginuinely like her but I wonder if I'm just using this a cover up. I don't why I would think I'm faking. It doesn't feel forced and I didn't force myself to her it just happened
    I don't feel like I am but something is telling I am. I mean do I really feel this way or am just saying because she's a girl and by society's rules guys like girls. I've never felt this for a guy but once I get more comfortable with this maybe I will. The overthinking is really killing me. I can't even just enjoy it.

    (Yes I know being bi is a thing)
     
    #3 Theshreks, Sep 18, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2015
  4. CameOutSwinging

    CameOutSwinging
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    i know the exact confusion you're describing. I'm way more sexually attracted to men than women (it's hard to say I'm at all sexually attracted to women) and I am probably gay...but I've fallen in love with two women in my life. And sometimes as I question my sexuality now, I wonder if somehow my denial allowed me to take strong friendship feelings and turn them into something more. But frankly, I also lived through falling in love with these women, and those feelings don't feel fake in retrospect at all. I was all in both times, butterflies and all. Questioning whether or not it was real drives me crazy. And I never had any issue having or enjoying sex with either of them. So maybe I'm bi? I don't know. I feel like if the feelings are there, they're worth exploring. But then again, I'm not exactly in a great place right now, being with one of them and questioning if I am really gay. So be careful.
     
    #4 CameOutSwinging, Sep 18, 2015
  5. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Thanks and good luck to you too.
     
    #5 Theshreks, Sep 18, 2015
  6. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    #6 Theshreks, Sep 18, 2015
  7. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Bump again? Why not
     
    #7 Theshreks, Sep 19, 2015
  8. bubbles123

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    It sounds like you like her. I mean, you could be bi. You don't have to give up your feelings for her if you decide you're more into men. You feel what you feel.

    For me, when I thought I liked guys, I was really sure I did because I'd get all excited when they texted me and I'd be really flirty but then as soon as things got real I'd get scared. Or I'd build up the relationship in my mind but then when I'd see them, I'd realize I didn't like them that much or get uncomfortable when they flirted back. I think I liked the attention more and I think a part of me was trying to force it too. I thought that's what I was supposed to feel so I just went with it, even though looking back I think it was really forced (although it didn't seem like it then).
    Anyway, that's just something to think about. If you feel it's kind of like that then maybe you aren't actually into girls? But if not, then you totally could be. Being into guys doesn't disprove your attractions towards girls. I guess just wait it out and see. Give it some times to see what you're feelings towards her are. Who knows? Maybe it could turn into something. Just do what you feel comfortable with and what would make you happy.
    Good luck!
     
    #8 bubbles123, Sep 19, 2015
  9. scouse

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    Sounds like a crush more than friendship. You like her, have fun, go with it :slight_smile:
     
    #9 scouse, Sep 19, 2015
  10. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Thanks for the feedback and I'm not sure if I'm forcing it it doesn't feel like it. I saw the example but does anyone have more?

    I don't know maybe I'm trying to take it too far too fast. There are feelings but I really need to get to know her more before I can really sort them out.
     
    #10 Theshreks, Sep 20, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2015
  11. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    #11 Theshreks, Sep 20, 2015
  12. secretagent

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    I think you may have helped to answer a question I have been asking forever. I think when a boy had a crush on me I liked it because of the attention not because of atraction.
     
    #12 secretagent, Sep 21, 2015
  13. SiennaFire

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    Theshreks,

    If I remember correctly, you think that you are bisexual and tend to overanalyze everything :slight_smile: From what you've written, it seems like you have a genuine crush on this girl. I'd say that you should run with it and see where it goes. Since you are starting college soon, you have plenty of time to try dating guys. Once you start dating, you'll have more data about what you like and don't like, which will help you figure out your sexuality.

    Ask this girl on a date :icon_bigg
     
    #13 SiennaFire, Sep 23, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2015
  14. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Yeah I would if I hadn't meet on her online like a weirdo.
     
    #14 Theshreks, Sep 25, 2015
  15. BlueKitty

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    Welcome. Glad you're here.
     
    #15 BlueKitty, Sep 25, 2015
  16. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Uh..thanks
     
    #16 Theshreks, Sep 25, 2015
  17. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    #17 Theshreks, Sep 26, 2015
  18. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Update: we haven't talked in like a week. We were talking for like four days then she got busy and we haven't talked at all.
     
    #18 Theshreks, Sep 26, 2015
  19. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Yeah she's not really fucking with me. Not sure what I did but I guess we're done. If it changes I'll update again.
     
    #19 Theshreks, Sep 27, 2015
  20. SiennaFire

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    Sorry to hear this. It sucks when a crush doesn't work out.

    Maybe it's time to visit the LGBT center?
     
    #20 SiennaFire, Sep 27, 2015
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