So a friend mentioned a what if in which she turned lesbain and dated another friends girlfriend when they broke up and i said that you can't turn gay but it was three against one and i had no defence so here i am, now i am a lesbian and i know some of my friends who are homosexual as well will back me on this but what do you think?
I think you can 'realise' that you're gay. Or have fluid experiences of bisexuality (feeling gay, straight, somewhere in-between or otherwise). Other people say you can't 'turn gay', and from my own experience it was realising crossed with a mix of (what I think is :rolle fluid bisexuality. I mean, if she wants to start identifying as a lesbian though/realised that she may be lesbian it's not really that much of a problem? Maybe it was worded badly on her part, or she doesn't understand her feelings herself? Or yeah, if she is treating it as an on/off thing, as easy to change as flicking a switch, then I can see why you would get defensive - because being gay obviously it isn't a choice. Maybe just explain to her how you found it offensive, or talk to her about it? Maybe she has a genuine crush on another girl?
I don't really believe that we can 'turn gay/bi/ lesbian' etc... but that someone can 'trigger it' making you realize that you are. Now, I can fully say that I was pretty much always bi because I see the all the little clues that I was but back then I couldn't. I had doubts but I was in denial deep enough that I could easily persuade myself that I was straight so it wasn't until I met a certain girl that those doubts turned into a really questioning and then a realisation of my bisexuality. She didn't turn me bi, but she definitely took off the blindfold that I had been wearing for years on end. So I can see how someone that would have never felt anything toward the same-sex before meeting that 'one' person could see it as 'turning gay.' Recently a friend asked me if I turned bi because of her, I had a good laugh and that's it. I can see how it can be taken offensively but you just have to explain that you personally haven't turned gay and leave it at that. After all she should be free to look at her own personal experience with the same-sex the way she wants and we shouldn't invalid her feelings to impose ours, so if she thinks she's turned a lesbian I guess it's fine, as long as she doesn't insist I turned bi too because I personally didn't. I think it's fine to agree to disagree on those kind of topic as it's hard to understand what someone may have felt like growing up and experiencing his first feelings toward the same sex, we should all be free to refer to this free and as we wish without being demonized.
