So I've pretty much identified as bi for most of my life, as far as I can tell. At least since I started thinking about it. Recently I decided that I probably didn't want to marry a man and now even more recently well... lately I've been getting up to the point with men where we could probably sleep together if I went one step further then..... I just loose interest. Any flirtations, arousal, I had just....dissipates. It's frustrating and confusing and on the flip side I feel WAY more into woman at the moment to the point I feel like that's all I want, all the time. I honestly thought I was passed the questioning and confusion but now it's worse than ever because I never really felt confused before and honestly I'm a bit scared. Why are things changing for me?
Why do you find it frustrating and confusing that your arousal/flirtations dissipates when you go further with guys? Surely, if the arousal goes away then you're not gonna enjoy it anyway - so why bother worrying over it? I struggled a lot coming to terms with no feeling of arousal with women. I love women and their bodies... Id love to have a family to go back to. A Wife to spoil and support finanically and to be strong for. Kids who are happy, healthy and free to live their own lives. A Traditional family i gess but when I see a women naked... I feel the chemicals slowing down in my body... and the reality is that I just wouldn't enjoy it. Yeah, I really want to fuck her! but I cant! HOWEVER when I see a nice har.. actually, nvm, i better not go into it! When I start I wont stop...
This is the exact same situation I am in. I'm so glad to see you explain it this way -- you've echoed my thoughts exactly. I love women, but they don't turn me on at all.
Because it didn't used to go away and now it is... I don't know why and it's confusing me really bad.
This is the fluidity that sometimes can occur in people. I'm reading a book about it right now Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women's Love and Desire, Lisa M. Diamond - Amazon.com . I've definitely had periods where I'm more into one person/sex or another. I don't have much advice on how to get through it, but since I'm married and currently monogamous, I usually focus on things I do enjoy with my husband and he's really good about helping me to get back in the mood even if it takes a few months to really return to being there. For me, the "fake it till you make it" usually works well.
My sexuality changed radically recently. It was UNNERVING, to say the least. But I think it can happen, and it can be part of a natural progression of our lives. I'm sorry it's stressing you out, though. Hearing "it may be natural" is not much comfort if you're feeling it as a loss.
