I believe I am living proof of sexual fluidity. When I was first developing crushes (I started puberty really early, so I was about 10), I was very much bi, though I thought I was straight because my huge obsessions were always male. This pattern continued until I was about 18, when I realized girls were more my speed. Since then, my feelings have fluctuated many times. I believe that at times I'm totally bi, other times I'm more lesbian, and at other times I just don't care about sex with anyone. I don't appreciate it when people express disbelief in bisexuality or fluid sexuality. That is ignorance.
Sexuality can absolutely be fluid. My sense is that people who "don't believe in it" simply have a pretty limited imagination and experience...they don't feel this way or know anyone who feels this way, so they conclude nobody can feel that way. Same with bisexuality, actually: "Hey, I went through a 'bisexual phase' before recognizing I was gay, so *everyone* who identifies as bisexual must be going through such a phase. Just a matter of not having talked with enough people. But legitimate conflict starts when anyone starts asserting that either phenomenon is universal.
I haven't read of anyone else who feels this way, but I would be happy to know that I'm not alone in this! So, I feel both genderfluid and sexually fluid. From sexual standpoint I can feel the attraction of a: * Woman for another woman (as a switch typically into masculine women) * Woman for a man (as a switch) * Man for another man (as the top) * Man for a woman (as a dominant into femmes) So I most definitely experience a very fluid sexuality.
I agree with your post, i think sexuality is fluid but most people aren't open to entertaining that thought. I find it funny when people don't understand Bisexual or pansexual... to be honest i think we should just get rid of labels all together and just say everyone is fluid, but i'm sure most people would disagree with that.
I don't think it's the labels that suck, just some of the baggage they come with. The words themselves are just a shorthand to describe your attractions. In itself there's nothing wrong with simplifying things like that, it's just I think a lot of the time it comes with the assumption that your label can't/won't change, or that it makes you attracted to certain people, or that your sexuality has to fit into one of these labels to be valid, and so on. But I do agree that it's healthier to have a more open mindset, and the focus on labels can close things down a bit. For sexual fluidity, I definitely agree that it's a thing. As for people who deny sexual fluidity when faced with someone who says they're sexually fluid, it's quite presumptuous to think you know their sexuality better than they do. I personally don't see the need to try and redefine other people. I mean if you're there to help them work out their sexuality then that's ok but in other cases, they have their sexuality and experiences and you have yours. It's not like it affects anyone exactly. What's the need to argue about it and try and redefine them? Surely people can find better things to disagree about than that?
I agree. Sometimes I'm gayer, while other times I'm more into guys, and I think it's perfectly normal for sexuality to fluctuate like that.
I would say that it depends on the person. I know there is no chance in the world that I will ever be sexually attracted to someone male and with that in mind, the fluidity of my sexuality is limited to where my sexual orientation points. However, I've been aromantic asexual for all of my life and I am in the process of becoming homoromantic or even a lesbian. (The further I move forward with transitioning, the more connected I'm becoming with my innate sexual orientation which is an attraction to girls.) One thing to keep in mind is saying to others that their sexuality is fluid and that they might suddenly be attracted to people of the opposite sex can be hurtful if they are gay. Sexuality is fluid between attractions only for people who are bisexual/romantic or pansexual/romantic.
I relate to this I feel exactly to the same way all my life I have had male crushes (well that was all I realized I had) but once I started questioning my sexuality I started to be less and less attracted to males and now I have barley any attraction to males
This is completely relatable. I also thought I was totally straight growing up, and then I realized I liked women. It went back and forth, sometimes I feel bi, sometimes I feel straight sometimes I feel gay and I also have those times when I feel absolutely nothing for either. I'm still trying to figure things out because it's so confusing, but yeah I've been realizing that sexual fluidity is more than likely what it is.
I've never understood anyone who disbelieves the existence romantic/sexual fluidity, honestly! I went from exclusively into guys, to bi/pan as hell, to straight-up into girls 100% no exceptions, and back to being really bi/pan again over the course of my life since I came back in 2007/08. Like, sure, there are plenty of people with fixed orientations too, but I don't understand how the concept of fluidity can be so alien to anyone even if they don't experience it... (I'm glad I've always kind of accepted it as a thing, saving me a lot of potential 'Oh no, I'm not the thing I thought I was!' crises like some of my friends had. For me it was more like 'Ah, guys interest me again now? Okay then.')
I don't think fluidity necessarily only means interest in men vs women. I think it can encompass other issues like levels of desire and sex acts you enjoy more than others.
