I have never really understood why sex is the end-all-be-all for relationships for most people. I understand that the intimacy that sex can bring may be nice, but the action itself... Why do people feel it is necessary for a healthy relationship? I have described myself as being on the asexual spectrum (where, you ask? I'm not sure, myself), and when I've come out to people, it's as if I've offended them! (or gotten the not-so-funny "what, like having babies with yourself?" line):help: Honestly, I think it's silly to tell people how to love. As long as all the people involved in the relationship are consenting (am I using the right word?), why police how they show love? I am a sex-positive person, but one of my biggest pet peeves is after I come out, no matter how much I have talked about sexual intercourse, people seem to shy away from talking about this stuff to me. I have gotten sooo many friends saying "oops, sorry, Ayla... We know you don't like talking about that stuff." Though I've clearly drawn my boundaries with them... :bang: I just don't know why sexuality (meaning the actual act and culture's views on it) is such a big deal to people... TL;DR: I don't get why people put so much pressure into the idea of sex=love. Why should people police others on how to love if all parties involved are consenting? And why do people get weirded out when I come out as being on the ace spectrum? (lots of topics... Lots to talk about!!)
I feel like people are not aware enough of asexuality, many people don't even know it exists! Everyone is used to the idea of love=sex, so many people might find it hard to understand that there are people who are not appealed by the thought of sex.
@fxngirl I agree, but I guess the part of me that has never been truly sexually attracted to someone is just baffled lol. I just hate getting the people who are patronizing, or go with the "asexual=plant" shtick. But it's always pleasant when I come out to someone, and when I explain to them what it is, they're just like "Oh... Okay then, cool." (but to be honest some of those people are the people that then tip toe around me because they think I can't handle hearing about sex because of it.)
I guess it happens with every kind of sexual orientation that is not "straight". There are openminded people and, unfortunately, there are people who are not.
Oh my god I feel the same. I always read romance books like Nicholas sparks (I am a hopeless romantic) and I would always question why they say that they love each other after sex. Seriously do you need sex to fall in love. Idk but it bugs me sometimes. Sex to me should not be equivalent to love.
Fair enough... Seriously! It's good food for thought! I guess people see it as a big deal because for a start it's still seen as a little taboo to alot of people, and also because it is something that is a part of yourself and people tend to care about themselves a fair bit, so naturally people want to know themselves. I dunno in all honesty... Just my musings...
I know what you mean! I feel like so many people think that sex=love and vice versa, though it is not as taboo to fool around with people casually. ---------- Post added 22nd Sep 2015 at 11:03 PM ---------- I'm not sure what you mean, or at least, what you're referencing to. Are you trying to say that having sex is a must if you want to care for yourself? I'm not exactly sure what you're referencing, which is why I ask. What I wonder, this isn't toward you but just a general musing, is why some people say to explore your sexuality, say screw all the people you want in the name of finding yourself... But when it comes to light that maybe someone has found themselves in a way that reflects a disinterest in sex, it's as if some people want to rip people to shreds for it. Sex is not a necessity for life. We do not NEED sex to survive. Yes, sex is a tool in continuing our bloodlines. That's it. Some people like it, while others don't. I kind of went rambling there... But whatever.
