Biromantic homosexual? Homoflexible? Please help advice needed

I would define myself as lesbian because:

-I'm emotionally, physically and sexually attracted to girls
-I'm NOT sexually attracted to guys and the idea of having sex with them freaks me out

BUT now I admitted to myself that I have feelings for a guy, and I enjoy kissing him, but the thought of eventually having sex with him freaks me out, and now I don't know what to do because I don't wanna lead him on.

How would you explain this? Most of the people say that there's no proof of the distinction between sexual and romantic orientation, so I'm not biromantic homosexual?
Then what am I? I might be homoflexible? But again, my heterosexual behavior doesn't go further than kissing.

Please help me, I really need some advice.

 

There is no "You are not X". I've seen people of all orientations do a lot of things that wouldn't typically befall their label. It happens all the time. Lesbians crushing on guys, gay guys drooling over hot women. It's normal. The whole kind of "There's Kinsey 0, Kinsey 3 and Kinsey 6" mindset annoys me.

It's good that you are analyzing your own feelings and trying to put them into context. It can help give clarity and stuff, which is always nice. You included what you're certain vs. uncertain of above, which is a strategy I use too.

If you can be sexually attracted only to people of your gender, that means you are homosexual. If you can be emotionally attracted to people of your gender and to people of your opposite gender, that means you are biromantic.

I don't know if this works for you, but maybe if you try to set the labels aside for a minute. What do you want? Let's say with this guy you like... Do you think the relationship is going to be fulfilling if there is no sex involved? Do you think he will be so patient so as to try to make it work?
"What do I want?" can be a good question leading up to "Who am I".

Also, time and patience are amazing when it comes to learning about yourself. I know it feels like we would like to have the answers tomorrow. I'm sort of your opposite and not sure about my female attractions. I'm pretty sure I'm on the bi spectrum, though.
I kind of tell myself, 'Okay, this I know about myself. As for the rest, I am a mystery waiting to be unravelled.'

Got a bit poetic there ^^ Hope that helps!
x

 

Yeah it helped, thank you about the relationship with this guy, I made it clear to him that I don't see sex happening, but he said it's worth a try because I might find out I actually don't mind it. I feel like it's not fair to him, though, because there's no guarantee and, the longer it lasts, the harder he falls for me, and the more he'll suffer if the situation doesn't change. I genuinely care about him and that's why I don't wanna keep doing this, because I don't want him to suffer.

 

Yes, I understand. Letting yourselves fall down into romance might feel like the natural thing to do, but maybe stopping and really sitting down and you telling him "I really can't see sex happening, ever", would be a good idea. Maybe you can work something out (such as an open relationship in the future or something else that makes a lack of sex work), or maybe it's best to just remain friends.

Also, him saying it's worth a try because you might sleep together in the future isn't a good sign. It does mean that he expects sex. I'm not saying that to hold it against him or anything, just that if you are entirely homosexual, it won't work. Maybe he'll start nagging you after a while if you aren't having sex, and you may feel guilty or even give in, and you might completely hate the experience. These are just some of the problems that may arise if you don't talk about this early on.

 

Yes exactly, and I don't want to force him into a relationship that doesn't involve sex, because I feel I would be selfish. Last night we agreed we would give it a shot, but shortly after one of his best friends, who's also a friend of mine, begged me not to make him suffer, and that convinced me to end it.

 

Okay. In all honesty, if a Lord of the Rings council was held with all the wise people, I suspect that would be the decree. :3 (I'm a geek, yes.)
Hope you're fine and all. At least I suppose you've learnt something from the experience. Take care. ~ xo

 

I think sexuality is complicated. It isn't always black and white (100% straight or gay). For me I know I'm physically and sexually attracted to men however I'm romantically attracted to girls. I feel like I might be demisexual with girls (in another words if I get more romantically and emotionally attached to a girl, I MIGHT want sexual intimacy with her). I think the best thing to do is just go with the flow and not label yourself. Sexuality can be fluid.