This is crazy and I hate it . I've been with my gf for about two years now, and have had a better relationship with her than with anyone else ever. I definitely have doubts about it (we have very different ways of communicating sometimes, I wish she analysed stuff as much as I do and I'm worried that we want very different things long term wrt to which country we will live in) but overall I don't think I've ever been happier.We have a pretty good sex life (ranges from really great to just ok), she makes me feel safe and loved, and I love spending time with her. Except that I'm still doubting my sexuality. I worry that I've faked this whole thing, and that I never really liked women, or that I'm just way less attracted to them than men. Ok so reasons why: - I think I'm rarely genuinely attracted to girls on the street. Every time I am I feel like I might be forcing it, and I can't often imagine having sex with them - I definitely flirt more (almost only) with men. Sometimes I think that this is just because they flirt way more with me, but I do encourage it - Most of my fantasies involve men. Often they involve men and women, but men are usually the sort of driving force. My fantasies are all a bit BDSM-y, and it just seems more natural to imagine men in the dominant role. I rarely imagine the actual men in detail, but there's definitely a penis. - sometimes I see friends with boyfriends, and I'll kind of wistfully wonder about what it would be like to come home to a big guy Reasons against - while I do notice hot guys, I don't actually imagine having sex with them either - none of the sex I've had with guys has been half as good as with women (although that might be me just being older rather than anything really about my sexuality) - my attraction to guys tends to mostly be sexual. I rarely entertain the idea after actually talking to one for more than 5 minutes - I'm definitely attracted to boyish girls, they're the perfect combination for me between the elements of masculinity and femininity that I like - I think I'm equally attracted to mens and women's bodies So I'm just bisexual right? I'm bisexual and should stop worrying about it? I'm just terrified that I'm going to have to a) un-come out to everybody, and b) break my gf's heart :tears:
You are probably bi. Is your gf willing to use a strap-on? That might solve a small part of this issue.
Simply based on what you've written here, you sound bisexual to me. I totally understand the feeling of anxiety and doubt that you are experiencing -- I'm a girl and I think I may be bisexual. Similarly to your situation, I have a boyfriend of 1.5 years whom I love dearly, and I sometimes get scared that I'm faking my attraction to him and guys in general. I know it's difficult to stop the anxiety, but it seems to me that you really love your girlfriend and that alone says you're not a Kinsey 0. And as long as you're at least partially attracted to women - even if you're a Kinsey 1 or 2 or whatever - there's no reason for you to break up with your girlfriend when you're in a happy relationship. (I personally would estimate you closer to a Kinsey 3-4, but that's not really my judgement to make at the end of the day.) So as long as you know you love and are attracted to your girlfriend, which you seem to know deep down, I would just try to stop worrying for the time being about where you are on the scale and just appreciate and enjoy the relationship you are in
