I understand the enjoyment of the act of sex, but ever sense I came out to my girlfriend as Trans almost 3 months ago now we haven't done anything and I find myself not missing it at all. Like no desire for it what so ever, and I'm worried because I know my GF has a really high sex drive and if I understand Asexuality correctly this might ruin our relationship. Could some one please explain Asexuality to me, I tried to find it online but there are to many science type words and I couldn't understand it. My current understanding of the Asexuality is some one who has little to no sex drive. That's probably wrong so can I have some help?
Someone who is asexual doesn't have any sexual attraction. For example, if you see someone really good-looking, you don't suddenly get horny or anything. Have you ever looked at a person and truly wanted to have sex with them?
If you're using the widely understood, accepted and validated definition of asexuality, then your definition is pretty close: asexuality (using the accepted defiinition) is a sexual orientation no different than homo or heterosexuality, is hardwired (unchangeable), and the person who is asexual has absolutely no interest whatsoever in sex. What I infer from what you wrote is that before you came out as trans, you had a relatively normal sex drive. If that's the case, then you aren't asexual (according to the commonly-accepted definition) and what you're experiencing is a decreased sex drive, which wouldn't be unexpected given the psychological issues associated with understanding and accepting that you aren't cisgendered. I don't have a deep understanding of the issues that transpeople face, but I do know that the decrease in sex drive is pretty common for those going through the transition process. One of the best things you can do is simply communicate about it with your partner, and express your fears and concerns. One of the best phrases, popularized by Brené Brown, to communicate your fears, is to preface them with "The story I'm making up is..." and then describe what your fear is (In this case, "The story I'm making up is that if I don't have a strong sex drive, it may ruin our relationship"). Directly talking about that is a way to understand what each of you are feeling. If your partner cares about you, she will appreciate your honesty and (hopefully) be willing to talk about this concern, what it means to her, and perhaps share her own "story she's making up." Please keep us in the loop about this situation, and feel free to talk about it more. ONe of the best ways to address what's going on for you is to keep sharing what you're feeling.
Please keep us in the loop about this situation, and feel free to talk about it more. ONe of the best ways to address what's going on for you is to keep sharing what you're feeling.[/QUOTE] Will do, I definitely will keep talking about it on here because I have no one else to talk to IRL that knows about this. Thank you for the help.
