I feel confused. I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years and love her very much. I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. However, I feel very feminine and I guess you could say I have many attributes of a stereotypical gay man. Sometimes I will see an attractive dude with great hair and I feel like there is some attraction going on. I decided to safely explore this potential attraction, but whenever I have tried masterbating to gay porn or fantasizing about guys it does nothing for me. I can't keep an errection at all. I love the female form and fantasizing about other women. Yet, I cannot deny the subtle attraction to some extremely handsome men. When I think of doing anything sexual with a man it kinda grosses me out. Maybe a kiss could be enjoyable, but it just can't compete with the beauty of a woman with great boobs and yummy legs. I want to figure out what I am before committing to anything serious like marriage or kids. I just don't want to hurt my amazing girlfriend. We have talked about this together a little. She is supportive and just wants me to be happy. Anyone else go through something similar? Also, I am comfortable being a man, but sometimes I like to fantasize about being a lesbian woman. Something tells me I've got some queerness going on somewhere. Exploring with other people is off the table since I don't want to ruin my relationship. I guess I'm just looking for guidance. Any advice or thoughts will be greatly appreciated.
Based on what you said, I would say that you are, if not completely, almost completely straight, since you feel romanrically, physically and sexually attracted to women. Plus, you said that you don't feel attracted to men at all. I wouldn't worry about finding some men attractive, that might just mean that you appreciate a man's beauty. To me you sound pretty straight, or maybe a Kinsey 1.
Hi there. Being feminine is not the only thing a gay man has to qualify for (as you probably know ). Based on what I've read, it appears to me as if you were straight, but homosexually curious, or, in more scientific terms, a latent homosexual individual. What all of this means, is that you can feel yourself sexually attracted to the same sex, but would never have any physical sexual contact. If you have some queerness going on, you should try to figure out what you exactly feel. You should really take your time, and keep ventilating your feelings to a person you really trust, in your case it would be your girlfriend, as I understand she is very understanding. Give it some deep thought, and try beginning on accepting just who you are, even if you can't always label what exactly that is.
You seem like you're straight. Also, being feminine doesn't make you gay. Just putting that out there.
In addition to what everyone else said, I think it's awesome that you are able to share this with your fiancee. My husband knew about my attractions to women before we were married, so when I had a crisis last year and realized I was actually bi, not just a bit curious in high school, it didn't come out of left field.
