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Am I a lesbian or just looking for a friend?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by hokageninja2000, Sep 25, 2015.

  1. hokageninja2000

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2015
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    Location:
    Ohio
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    I'm a 14 year old girl, who's been questioning her sexuality lately. I feel like I can't "connect" with other girls in a friendly, platonic manner. When I see a bunch of girl friends hanging out with each other, giggling and talking about boys, I just don't understand it, and I feel like an alien. I'm a very shy girl who never participate in class, just sit back and observe their classmates, and still get straight As. Yeah, I'm the so called "geeky, nerdy loner" in school. I literally have no friends, and I spend my evenings and weekends on the computer watching cartoons, listening to music, or maybe play video games. I sit next to the cute, adorable girl in one of my class. There's this "feeling" that I get when I'm around her. I feel happy, nervous, comfortable, awkward, shy, confident, and just outright "good" when I'm around her. It's just a mix of emotions, you know, but I just enjoy it so much!! :kiss:

    I have felt this way for lots of girls already in the past. It's like I stare into her eyes, and then Cupid shows up out of nowhere and hit me with an arrow. Yet, every time, it's sort of a different feeling. I'm not sure what I really want from these girls. Maybe, I just want to have a female friend, or a so-called "girl squad," who I can have sleepovers with, text, or hang out with. Or maybe, I want something more. Maybe I "want them." Like have them and kiss, hug, cuddle, play with their hair, touch their face, strip them, maybe that's what I really, truly want from these girls that I'm "attracted" to. To be honest, the latter sounds way better to me. As for boys, ehh, I really have NO interest in them whatsoever. I can be friends with a guy, and it's not like I hate every single male in the world. It's just that I'm not really interested in them. Never have a guy make me feel like how I feel around those girls. I don't feel the chemistry between me and a cute guy. I can find them good-looking, that's for sure, but I don't want to have them. So, what do you think? Am I a lesbian or just a really lonely, confused girl?? :confused:
     
  2. happydavid

    Full Member

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    Location:
    A town near Birmingham England
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I would love to try to help you if you want me to. You have a friend in me
     
  3. loveislove01

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2015
    Messages:
    872
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    Location:
    Earth, probably
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ah! Your story sounds so much like mine...
    I'm also that awkward nerd in the back of the classroom xD and girls make me nervous-ish. I can talk to them okay, sometimes, depending on what we have in common...but after I started middle school, I never understood the boy craze. I found boys attractive, but if they ever asked me out (haha why would they?) I would've said no, there's just something missing I have with boys. They make great friends though...but I can never see myself doing anything else with them. Yeah, I'm lesbian..

    You could be, seeing what you have said about your difference in attraction with boys and girls. Hey, can you see yourself with a girl in a relationship?

    It's also possible you want female friends ("girl squad") and you're a lesbian and want a romantic relationship..
    Ultimately, you will be the one to decide what label feels right to you..
    Could you describe more about your feelings?