I've already posted before but it didn't really help. I'm 14, heterosexual, and a female. A couple months ago, around July, I saw a coming out video on YouTube. It freaked me out for some reason and I thought I was a lesbian. That didn't last long because I knew I liked boys. For the past couple weeks, I have been worrying about being bisexual. Although I'm not. I know I'm not. I've had OCD before. Like worrying about having cancer, I would check online so many times to see if my symptoms matched up. And then the world ending, I would look up people's opinion about it. And now being bisexual. I honestly don't think I am because I've been heterosexual my whole life. Never once have I had a gay thought. But when I was around 12, I would look up women moaning and get turned on by it. The thing is I thought myself as the girl and a guy, you know on me. I watch straight porn and get turned on by the girl moaning but I'm never turned on by her body or anything. I don't find women's body sexually appealing like I do with men. Anyways, when I watch porn I like to picture myself as the girl. I looked it up and some straight women say the same thing. I don't watch lesbian porn because it makes me uncomfortable. I don't know what's going on with me. I want it to stop because I LOVE being heterosexual and not worrying about this. It's literally killing me because I know I'm heterosexual but my mind is saying something else. Please help me with this. If you have OCD, please tell me how you get through things like this. :icon_sad::icon_sad:
1) What you've described isn't OCD, its simple paranoia and perhaps hypochondria. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder isn't worrying that you could have cancer or worrying that you're gay/bi. 2) You don't really show any evidence of having an attraction to girls. You seem to be treating bisexuality like a disease you think you have without showing any symptoms. You're just conig across a bit loony. In summation: You're not attracted to girls You identify as straight You don't even view the same gender in any sort of romantic or sexual way You seem terrified if not being straight. You sound pretty straight to me. I must ask, what actually makes you think you could be bi? Nothing in your post suggests any reason besides being freaked out by a coming out video :/
Uh, no. Actually, what she has described is within the spectrum of the intrusive and compulsive thought patterns that can be part of OCD, and is a lot closer to OCD than it is to the thought patterns that one typically sees in paranoia. Additionally, she describes earlier OCD behaviors (whether or not she received a proper diagnosis from a professional, we don't know) and the current patterns fit into the earlier ones. It would also not be uncommon for someone with obsessive-compulsive traits to have thoughts be triggered by watching a video. Additionally, nobody (including a licensed professional) has any business offering up diagnoses based on a two-paragraph description on an Internet message baord. So without knowing more, what I can say is that what you (OP) are describing could fit within the patterns of your earlier diagnosis, if in fact it was a proper diagnosis, but it would be up to a qualified mental health professional to really identify if that's what's going on. Where I do agree with tandthegreens is that I'm not seeing anything in your description that would lead me to deduce you actually have same sex attractions. So I think it's a lot more likely that there are obsessive thoughts happening than evidence that you are actually same sex attracted. Finally, there's nothing "loony" about what you're experiencing. I'm sure it's causing you a lot of anxiety and concern, and no one on EC should ever be devaluing another person's experience in that way.
Hi Dani, Like Chip has said, I don't feel it's my place to offer you a conclusive diagnosis since I'm not a professional, but my impression was the same as Chip's--that these could be compulsive thought patterns specifically concerning sexual orientation (sexual orientation OCD, or SO-OCD): Inside the Fear of Being Gay - The Daily Beast https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/culturally-speaking/201201/sexual-orientation-obsessions-in-ocd Just as an anecdotal example--I knew a guy who had been diagnosed with OCD as a child, and he confided in me that he often had obsessive thoughts worrying if he was actually gay, even though he had an extremely active sex life with girls, constantly thought about girls he was attracted to, and never found guys attractive. If you are able to, it might help to speak to a professional about this if it is causing you a lot of distress
