I'm 15 and I've began to question whether I'm gay or not. I've only started questioning this in the past year or two, and before that I completely preferred girls. It sort of started around the time I became really good friends with this chubby guy I already knew for a few years. (I also consider myself to be a 'chubby chaser'). This guy started acting a little differently, in a gay way. He would have random outbursts where he'd say stuff such as 'what if I enjoy a dick in the ass?' but then go back to normal like nothing ever happened. He also became a little touchy. I picked up these signals and figured he must be gay for me, but I'm not entirely sure since he still talks about fancying girls and the fact I fancy him could bias how I think he feels about me. Anyway, I'll move onto porn. Basically, what I watch mostly depends on what's happening with this chubby friend of mine. If I spend a day with him and he has a few of those random outbursts or gets a little touchy, then I will happily watch gay porn. On the other hand, if he's away for a couple of days or angry at me, or I spend more time with a girl I fancy, I will start to watch straight porn. Basically I go from 90% gay porn to 40% gay porn if he's away/angry. Only very rarely will I look at a guy and think that I fancy him, mostly because there are barely any chubby guys my age where I go to school/live. But, when I do find a guy I fancy, more often than not this attraction is stronger than attractions I have to girls. This isn't to say I'm not attracted to girls at all, I find myself staring at them all the time. One thing I have realised about the guys I am attracted to is that I'm pretty much only attracted to feminine looking guys. This goes with my chubby friend as it would be fair to say he is one of the most feminine looking guys in my year level. I'm really confused with my sexuality since there are so many deciding factors that change so often. I've been looking around on this forum for a little while and read that what porn you watch usually is the simplest way to decide your sexuality. The fact that what porn I watch changes on how I think other people feel about me makes my situation even more confusing :/. My best guess would be that I am bi, but I'm really not sure. I don't feel safe coming out as anything at this point in my life because I see how gay/bisexual people are treated at my school and it's really off-putting. Despite this, I'd still like to know who I am so I can come out when I feel I should. Thanks for reading .
i think maybe you could be bi. or gay. but you don't have to know everything all at once. you can just come out if you want people to know. You can just say you you;re attracted to chubby fem boys but you also like some girls too. you don't have to say the words "gay" or "bi". You could also tell your friend, "hey, I just wannted to tell you I think I'm attracted to boys. I didn't know who else to tell and I just wanted to get that off my chest." maybe see what he says. OR you could ask him. "hey, don't take this the wrong way" like make him promise not to overreact "but I don't know if I've been reading your signals wrong. Is it possible that you maybe like me?". you don't want to leave high school thinking that your relationship could have worked if one of you was just willing to ask the other. Maybe because he's chubby he thinks you wouldn't like him so he doesn't ask. i don't know because i don't know him but i'm just guessing. what do you mean by that? how are they treated? Is it physically violently? No lgbt club at your school? also do you mean your entire school doesn't like gays/bis, like the teachers too? Or is it just the students? And I know it can't be all of them.
