I'm a 21 year old dude and have been attracted to women for my whole life. Within this past year I started getting anxiety, mainly social anxiety. Now, I don't know what my orientation is. Whenever I'm walking about I can't help but looking at guys. They just catch my attention. Thing is I don't have barely any sexual attraction to guys. I have never lusted about a guy. I do not get turned on when watching gay porn. Another Thing I have is I will stare at guys through the corner of my eye if I'm sitting next to one. I just can't help it. I also seem to be drawn to guys crotches. Sometimes I find it hard to look guys in the eyes and my eyes want to dart to their crotch. Again, I don't feel a lust for their penis, and I can't imagine myself doing anything sexual with a guy. I've never had any wet dreams of guys and don't fantasize about naked men or anything. I seem to exhibit the symptoms of being gay, but I don't seem to be mentally turned on by it. Physically, when with a guy I get a weird feeling in my dick. I guess it's the beginning of a turned on feeling. I have little implosions let's call them in my penis, I also feel insecure and get anxious around men. Also with women too though, but not as bad. The thing is this only started happening very recently. I used to be super chill with guys before my anxiety started. I had no problems relaxing around them. Now I can't relax around them and get all anxious. And stare at them. And get the weird feeling in my penis. But I don't have any lust or desire to do anything sexual! Its so strange. Recently, I've lost some of my horniness towards women. I still am turned on by straight porn and even thinking of girls and my past sexual encounters, but unless I'm drunk I'm too anxious to get a boner around girls anymore. And I get paranoid about staring at guys. Also I can only get hard with my girl when we are alone. For example I was at a rave with a girl of mine and I wasn't able to dance with her, grind with her, and there was no way I was getting a boner. I wasn't drunk, but was on some e. I was too anxious about other people seeing us and stuff. It wasn't real md but some stimulant. I feel good on md lol. I don't know what's going on and its so confusing. How come I've never felt this way before?? Is it possible my anxiety is causing my staring and weird feeling in my penis? I feel like my balls are retracting, I don't feel as manly and tough as I used to , my penis is never relaxed always scrunched up and having that weird tingling and implotion feeling, like it's visably retracted in itself. I don't feel like I have a pair of macho balls anymore... But just a short while ago I did! Aaaaah this is so confusing. Sometimes I tell myself "ok that's it you must be gay" but then other times I think that I'm not. Also because of my actions around people and anxiety around guys people think that I am gay, which makes me believe that I am, but I don't really fully feel it.
