So I know a lot of people say your porn watching habits don't really have much baring on your orientation. But what about your sexual fantasies? Is that different? If so, why? I mean, I often watch straight porn (but only sometimes can enjoy gay porn, not often though). I also only masturbate thinking about straight sex, even though I think I'm more into girls. I'm not even sure though, I've only been sexually attracted to one person ever and it was a girl. I've never felt sexually attracted to a real life guy. But I don't know if I'd want to have sex with a girl. I know having sex with a guy would definitely feel good, I just don't know if I could have an emotional connection with a guy. The one time I was able to masturbate to a girl was the one I'm attracted to. I don't know what all of this means. Could the fact I haven't accepted my gay feelings be causing me anxiety and making it hard to get turned on by lesbian sex? Could me feelings not have developed fully yet? Could I be sexually attracted to girls but be very demisexual? Sorry this was so scattered, I'm just really confused about my sexual attractions and stuff. Any insight/thoughts would be helpful
Hi ! Sexual attraction is very complicated, and it's impossible for me to tell you what you feel, nobody but you can do that. As a bisexual I used to be very confused about my orientation. I found that girls were very attractive in a way a guy could never be, I had more crushes on guys that on girls, but I was in love with a girl for a while without wanting to have sex with her. It's ok to be confused especially at the begining. I think it really depends on the people you meet. After a while, I got to accept myself, meet people and try things and it got much clearer. Anyway, I think not being at peace with your orientation is definitely not helping, you won't be able to have any pleasure if you're stressed out and overthinking everything. My advice : take your time ! You're only 17, just go with the flow and learn to live with yourself and love yourself (this generally takes a whole lifetime from what I heard so you'd better start now ^^) Hope this helped ! Have a nice day
As far as fantasies vs. Porn goes I certainly think that fantasies have way more bearing. Your fantasies are created by you. You're thinking those things because you've decided that is what feels good. Some other thoughts: Do you think sex with a guy would feel good because that is what you've been told? Or because you yourself feel like it would be a good experience? Where do your eyes wonder when youw out and about?(if anywhere) Unfortunately I can't answer your questions. And I'm adding more for you. And I know when I was questioning and people did that it was incredibly frustrating. But at the end of the day it was quite helpful. I think one of the most important things to remember is that society has an expectation that we are straight. And when questioning we encourage ourselfs to meet that "ideal" expectation. So its really important to examine how you feel and as hard as it might be ignore the expectation. ---------- Post added 3rd Oct 2015 at 03:52 PM ---------- I also remember before I "came out" to myself my attraction to guys was rather obscure. I'd think a guy looked good. But not in a sexual way but more perhaps in admiration? It was almost as if a filter was in place preventing myself from thinking anything further. I never really had an outright attraction per se to anyone. Since coming out to myself and accepting that I begun to think things like "damn is that guy hot" and really seeing guys as outright attractive. Like the filter was removed.
Thank you guys! Your responses made me feel a bit better. I guess the stress of thinking about it all is making it more unclear for me like you guys said. Thanks again!
