How to figure out and explore bi-curious feelings & desires

I am 43 years old (but feel 33) and in a committed relationship with an awesome woman who I love. About a year ago, we decided that we would have an open relationship but neither of us has really done much with it other than flirting outside the marriage. However it has had a side effect of letting us each explore other previously buried feelings and desires. I have uncovered many things about myself in the past year that I would never have imagined for myself earlier. One of these is a strong sexual attraction to men and m2f transgenders. (My wife is totally OK and supportive of this.)

I am extremely turned on by the thought of engaging in sexual activity with a man or transwoman. I fantasize about petting, sucking, playing, caressing, snuggling, topping, and bottoming, and so on. A lot.

When it comes to trans-women I am equally attracted to the entire package: looks, body, and penis.
When it comes to men however, the attraction is much more focused on the genitals and the body, and only occasionally on the face/looks. (Probably 70%, 25%, 5%). In other words there are very few guys I have seen that I have been highly attracted to. So, I want the sexual part of it but rarely feel any attraction to the individual.

At this point, what I want to do is to find a guy or transwoman that I can play with sexually in a safe environment to figure out exactly where I am on this spectrum. Are my desires simply porn induced fantasies, or are they something that is really a part of me and that I want to embrace and go further with?

The problem is, I have no idea where to start. I live in a fairly conservative city (Salt Lake City) and so only know a handful of gay men, all of whom are in a seemingly monogamous pair and/or who I am really not attracted to anyway. Being from outside the LGBT community I don't know how I would go about finding someone who 1) I would feel safe (STD and boundaries) enough to play with and 2) who I would be attracted enough to in order to do the playing. (I don't want to hook up with some random person who turns me off when I look at their face.)

And am I simply a slut or looking for a slut to have a one-night stand with? Which brings me back to the concerns above regarding safety and attraction.

How do I find someone who I can explore this with?

 

hmmmm. I was hoping for more of a response than this. :-/