Be prepared, this is mostly a rant, but i would love advice/support. So a couple of months ago I realized I was bisexual,because I've always had crushes on guys, but I've though about girls too. I know I would like a relationship with another girl. But now I'm questioning again. I forget why exactly I started questioning my sexuality again. I think it was because I was watching some ones coming out video on YouTube, And they said that they believed they actually were bisexual at one time, then realized they were gay. And some people said they never even thought they were gay. And ever since I "knew" I was bisexual, I've been thinking mostly about girls. I've had guy crushes my whole life, but he's what I'm thinkingIF, I am gay) Maybe I acted nervously around them just because I'm a shy, awkward person, and talking to the opposite sex always seems hard. And maybe I just thought they were good looking. Now all I can think about is girls. I want to kiss a girl; I want to date a girl; when I'm an adult, I would have sex with girls. I seriously have only been thinking about nothing but girls lately, and not guys at all. To be honest, I watch porn occasionally, and I usually watch just lesbian porn. I guess I am curious as to what its like, and I know id like to have sex with girls when I'm (way) older. I'm just so confused. I'm going to meet with a trusted family therapist, and I think she's going to help me a lot, but I'm still getting kind of depressed. My grades are suffering because this is all I can think about. I was thinking about going to talk to the school counseler, but I just am not sure how I feel about that. I almost had a panic attack in school last week, from stress I guess. My teachers are getting mad/disappointed in me, but I can't help it. What I'm asking, I guess, is do you think I could be gay? Or could my sexuality "develop" or something? And before you answer!!!! I know I am still young and may not know for a while,.I'm just ranting and getting opinions. Thanks for reading this and supporting me, have a good day
I'm sorry you're feeling that way Being confused isn't fun sometimes. First off, just because you're young doesn't mean you can't know you're bi or gay. It depends on the person. Some people figure it out when they're really young. Some people figure it out when they're a lot older. And for everyone, the process of accepting and figuring it all out is different and takes different amounts of time. So don't put pressure on yourself to figure it out now or anything else. What you're feeling is perfectly okay and you shouldn't rush yourself. Second, your porn habits don't necessarily have too much baring on your sexual orientation. Being bi is as you know a common thing. There are people who feel equal attraction towards males and females. There are some who feel it for both, but feel more strongly toward one than the other. Now, to address the whole starting out as bi and ending up gay thing. Let's assume for a minute that you are gay. Sometimes, it is possible for gay people to start out thinking they're bi. This is because they are beginning their process of accepting their same sex attractions. Once they accept this, it's like they've taken the next step towards realizing how they actually feel and they can be more open with themselves about how they are feeling. It's like slowly easing away from straightness if you will. Because that's often very hard to let go of at first for some people. This is just a possibility though and you could very well be bi. Think about your attractions towards men. Are they strong attractions, or just celebrities you know other people find hot, so you find them hot too, that sort of thing. What about guy crushes? For me personally, I think I had a lot of guy "crushes" that were really just me trying to get attention from them so I flirted a lot with them. I don't think I actually liked them, just the attention they gave me and that made me excited so I thought it was real but I didn't actually feel romantically attracted to their personalities. I'm not saying you're like this, this is just something for you to think about if this could be similar to what you've felt. It could also be possible you're bi but more attracted to girls. It all depends. I know you want to figure it out now, but take it from me overthinking it won't help. Going over the same evidence and self-observations in your head won't change the fact that you haven't reached a conclusion yet. It can be very distracting and also make it a bit harder to tell what you're really feeling since you're overthinking it all. So don't focus on that as your goal. What will help you is focusing on yourself and being open and honest with yourself about what you're feeling and try to stay positive because whatever you are feeling is completely true. You can't help what you feel and you can't help what you know. All you can do is be open, continue accepting your feelings (which you've already been doing a great job of), and not overthinking it. Give yourself time because it may just take time. You'll get there It's also important to recognize that it takes a lot of bravery to even just admit these feelings to yourself and it's great that you've been able to do that so be proud of that. I wish you all the best.(*hug*)
You could be gay or you could be bi, bi people often say they have periods where they are more into guys and periods where they are more into girls. The big question does it matter, I know it is very stressful for you at the moment but you are still young and have time to ip figure it out. If at the moment you are liking girls go for it, if in the future it goes back to boys then that's great and if not just stick to the girls.
I'm kind of in a similar situation. I only crushed on guys my whole life until like 16 I crushed on a few girls but it was rare. Then suddenly recently I've lost 90% interest in guys and really want a gf! I think it was when I admitted to myself I'm bi. For now (cos I don't want too much confusion) I just accept that because I now know I definitely like girls too, I'm just really excited and paying more attention to this part of me that's just opened up. I also feel I don't mind the gender of the person I'm into. I really don't think atm that I'm lesbian but I'll figure it out soon if I am. I think it's good to go at your own pace figuring things out.
