After realizing and accepting myself as homoromantic bisexual (and having a mini relationship with a boy that went nowhere that felt extremely wrong and uncomfortable), I have noticed that my attraction towards guys has really dropped. Before this, I found most guys hot and attractive and I wanted to kiss them or something (ha, I'm still yet to have my first kiss tho) but now, there are barely any guys that do make me feel this way. Most of the time I just feel really uncomfortable. My friends are always gushing over hot boys (well some of them) and I used to join in and a lot of the time, I'd be the one to start it of but now, I don't feel it. I usually cringe and fake vomit noises instead? My attraction to girls has gone up a bit more but not as drastically as it decreased with guys. I do notice girls a lot more now though but I'm still really picky on what girls I find attractive. Although I still do have sexual fantasies with guys, it's only ever imagining sex but I'm not really interested in kissing or a relationship (it's weird, even tho I imagine have sex with a guy, I'm absolutely disgusted and horrified by a man's genitals and although I'd like to do it in theory, I'm not really sure whether I'd want to do it in real life. It just feels weird and horrible). but then I have fantasies of dating a girl and kissing her but sex with a girl doesn't interest me as much (although I would still want to do it, when the time comes and I'm not as revolted by a woman's genitals, they seem a lot more natural and less scary- probably because I'm a female! ). ?????????
It's great that you've been figuring all this out about yourself, even if things are still confusing. Trying to imagine and figure out who you'd want to have sex with without actually having much to go on can be kind of confusing. I mean, you can probably get a sense for what will turn you on and what won't. But trying to imagine how you'd feel in the moment and whether it would gross you out or not could be kind of hard, so don't put too much pressure on yourself to figure that out. I think for me personally anyway (still trying to figure it out but) I think I get turned on thinking about sex with guys just because it would feel good, like that's the way vaginas are made. But even in these fantasies, there's no emotional connection and I'm not all that interested in pleasing them or even kissing them or anything like that, literally just the penetration part of it because I know that would feel good. So that's why I think I probably wouldn't be into guys as much even though I can imagine sex with them and like that. So maybe that could be kind of how you are. I'm not saying it is, but just something to think about if this is similar to what you experience. Other than that, I'd say don't rush it. And don't rule anything out. It's great that you've accepted all this about yourself so if you're still confused about it, give yourself a break Don't stress about an exact label too much, I think that will become clearer in time as you have more experiences. You have plenty of time to figure it out, and who says you need to figure out an exact label? I know, I know, it's kind of hard not to have one haha but don't stress about it too much and just like who you like and be open to yourself about your feelings, like you're already doing and you'll learn a lot about yourself. Best wishes<3
I agree with bubbles - its good that you're aware that you like women, but its also good to give yourself a break and not stress about an exact label. As long as you know like women, and have given yourself permission to pursue a relationship with another girl if you happen to meet one that you like, then you are doing swimmingly. You have the rest of your life to refine a label for yourself that reflects your experience. But at 14, you don't need to worry about that. Just knowing your interested in girls is plenty.
I must point out that at 14 many people are not ready for sex with EITHER gender. Puberty hits everyone in their own time--being interested only in kissing and other less-intense acts for a while is perfectly fine regardless of orientation. I really don't think you need to rush it--sex itself is kind of gross and a little scary the first time with anyone, even if you love them and think they are hot. It gets better, of course, but everyone is ready for it in their own time.
CapColors- I do strongly recommend refraining from sexual acts for at least a few years, at this age. However, teenage hormones do act up and we can't help but dream sometimes Grungeteen- well, sometimes the realization process does take a while. I thought of myself as "Straight with one exception" only six months ago and that slowly turned around and I'm gayy. It's good to figure more things out and eventually you'll figure out. Also, some people are sexually fluid, so you could be that too
