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I'm homoromantic but I still can't get over my ex-boyfriend?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by grungeteen, Oct 7, 2015.

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  1. grungeteen

    grungeteen
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    I'm so confused

    Over the summer,I started dating this guy I had a massive crush on for months. I had always fantasizes about being with him and kissing him etc. and now that it was actually real, it felt all uncomfortable and wrong and I didn't feel 'right'. I didn't like the idea of having a 'boyfriend'.

    This made me realize that I am probably homoromantic. I then made the really hard decision to break up with him because I truly desire for a girlfriend and it would be unfair on him if I had stayed in the relationship that I didn't really want anymore.

    The problem is, I still haven't gotten over him (it's been about 1 month since I have broken up) and I still have feelings for him. This is confusing because I'm pretty sure I'm homoromantic but I still like him so much and it doesn't make sense.

    I'm considering coming out as lesbian (currently out as bi) because it's just an easier, simpler label (but I probably won't have the courage to do it for so many reasons, I can't say them all now).

    Ughhhhhhhh
     
    #1 grungeteen, Oct 7, 2015
  2. andimon

    andimon
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    Then you're probably not all that homoromantic.
     
    #2 andimon, Oct 7, 2015
  3. grungeteen

    grungeteen
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    Well I'm pretty sure I'm homoromantic- it's just him in particular that I can't get over. I don't want to date guys or have a relationship with one, including him, but I still have those feelings of being attracted to him even. I don't have that with any other guys, it's just him.

    So confusing. Sometimes I doubt my attraction to girls because everyone around me is telling me that I'm going through some phase and I don't really like girls (as everyone who has known me has never seen me talk about girls in that way or anything, I thought I was straight until a few months ago and now I have feelings).

    But I'm really comfortable with being homoromantic bisexual. For once, I feel happy about my sexuality and in the right place, so...
     
    #3 grungeteen, Oct 7, 2015
  4. Hachi

    Hachi
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    I mean perhaps he is just an exception. Something that has made me feel a lot more comfortable about sexuality and figuring myself out is the idea that you can define yourself as a lesbian and have had male lovers in the past that you really did love. Or you can define yourself as a lesbian but have a guy come along very rarely that makes you turn your head and recognize. This doesn't mean you want a relationship with him, and it doesn't make you not gay.

    I think probably you miss your relationship, as everyone does. Many people miss ex boyfriends/girlfriends in hetero and homo relationships even though they do not want to be with them. I missed my first ex even though I knew they were like poison to me and made me very unhappy.

    Your sexuality can change/your understanding of it can change. Don't feel so pressured to "be" something forever and always or to explain yourself to anyone. Nobody knows that I like women, because I do not talk about it, but I think about it all the time. So it's not something that people can decide for you, as only you know what you're thinking.
     
    #4 Hachi, Oct 7, 2015
  5. grungeteen

    grungeteen
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    ...
     
    #5 grungeteen, Oct 9, 2015
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