Oh gosh.... X3 I think my true sexuality is starting to show.. Ok so, I'm a lesbian. I (FINALLY) am starting to make a few friends (like, that i am comfortable talking with) because I'm very shy, and it's hard. So i'm in an Earth Science class with freshman (I'm supposed to be a junior, but I got help back, to sophomore and need to make up some classes) and I so far have 2-3 freshman friends ANYWAYS. One of the girls is super pretty and I'm pretty sure she's straight.. but I'm always caught looking at her and then she smiles at me if I look for more than 2 seconds... but yeah. At this point, I might sound like a creeper for liking someone 2 years younger than me.. but XD i cant help ittttt! and she told me that I was really pretty, and that she liked me (in a FRIENDLY way of course) but yeah. ugh. wow... that was a long un-necessary rant about another "falling for my straight friend" story..... BACK TO WHAT I WAS ACTUALLY WRITING ABOUT: So, I've always (sometimes) held the door for girls.. (and boys like.. once or twice..) but I've held the door open for the girls in my p.e. class like 4 times now. I even sometimes wait for all of them to go before I close it. I know I'm probably just freaking out over nothing but.. I don't want people to start suspecting something.. not yet. I mean, I love who I am and stuff, but I'll come out when I'm ready... you know? And I'm uncomfortable in the girls locker room XD becuz... yeah. I always change in the bathroom stall cuz I be uncomfortable.. and I feel like once they know I'm gay, they're gonna be like "uh.. why is this lesbian in here? She's gonna just stare at us." :/ sooooooo maybe I should stop with all the door holding and being superrr polite to girls. I don't mean I should be a jerk, just less.. obvious. I don't have anything to worry about tho.. from the outside (for the most part) I look frikkin straight (I think so at least.. I'm sure fooling my family). -_- which I might want to change when/if I come out. One of the only things that would make you even have a HINT of my sexuality is a small portion of my hair shaved on the side of my head. but that's it.. and that's not even a hint XD And I don't like flannel, I grow out my nails, I have long hair (except the shaved part obvi.), and I dress... girly-ish. So yeah. that's my ... idk Thx! :3 - Raven
I think you're good! It's probably a lot less suspicious than you think. And honestly even if they did suspect something, most people in this day and age don't care. I get it's hard, but just STAY STRONG! You're gonna make it through this and emerge a beautiful rainbow-colored butterfly! ---------- Post added 9th Oct 2015 at 03:24 PM ---------- Also, I love the name Raven XD
"I don't like flannel" lol, but do you drive a UHaul to school? I don't think people would suspect you were lesbian from holding open a door, but I mean people are weird in high school as freshmen, even if they got kind of awkward they usually grow out of that by junior year when they realize that not everyone who looks at them is in love with them.
I really doubt anyone would think you are a lesbian for being really nice and holding the door open. And the staring thing is not a big deal, lots of people stare at people for many reasons and if that girl smiles back then she definitely doesn't care that much. If for some odd reason word gets out that you are a lesbian before you are ready, it's not the end of the world. I went to an all girls high school and there were a few out lesbians and no one cared and they had lots of friends. We even signed a petition for one girl to be allowed to take her girlfriend to prom. That was a while ago so I feel like it might be even better now a days. There might be some people who will gossip, they might just be extremely curious thats all, but who cares about them anyway.
Hey! Don't worry, it's probably not as obvious as you think. A lot of people do the holding-door-open-for-extended-period-of-time thing, it's not a gay thing. xD Also, people who are straight don't typically try to guess other people's sexuality, so they probably won't clue in to very subtle things. And about the locker rooms, I have lesbian friends who are out and no one is creeped out by them or seems to care that they are present in the locker rooms, so unless your school is quite homophobic I wouldn't worry about that. Good luck! :3
