Is this normal for bisexuals?

You can't ever picture yourself being with a guy...and yet some days you feel gay?? How does that make sense?

If you just mean that you can't picture yourself "settling down" with a guy, then I gotta say: you're 14...it would be a bit nutty if you could picture yourself settling down with *anybody* at this point. Give yourself some time there...the whole "liking guys" thing is still a bit new to you, from the sound of it (and that's ok).

But to give a straightforward answer to your question, yes, it is completely normal for bisexuals to feel more into men some days, more into women other days, and into both some days. Some aren't that fluid...but many are.

Honestly, I don't think it's worth getting too confused about. Just enjoy being attracted to whomever you find attractive. If you feel like it, ask one out. Date people you want to date when you're ready to do that...and experiment with sex when you're ready to do that...with whomever you're attracted to. And after you've had some experiences, ask yourself "who have I enjoyed most? Men? Or Women?" Whether the answer is "unreservedly, both", "well, to be honest, mostly guys", or "well, to be honest, mostly women", the confusion factor will be gone.

 

Straight, single guys look around at lots of different girls, that's normal. Gay, single guys look around at lots of different guys, that's normal. Bisexual, single guys look around at lots of different people, they could be guys or girls, and that's normal as well. If you are bisexual, then: when you are attracted to a guy, you haven't turned gay; when you are attracted to a girl, you haven't turned straight.

Single folks look around and are attracted to lots of different folks in one day, week, year or whatever. The only difference is that a bi can feel that for either gender. We're not 'flipping from one to the other', that's just biphobic crap. We are consistently, gloriously bisexual at all times. A single identity known as, 'bisexual'. You've got plenty of time to discover and explore your sexuality in any case, no need to label it yet, but I'd say that if 'bi' is the one, then yes what you are experiencing is, in my own experience, perfectly 'normal' for bisexuals.

Looking more at guys one week, more at girls the next...all par for the course as far as I can tell.

 

I read your introductory post, and you mentioned that your friends and family are homophobic to some degree. I'm wondering if the messages that you learned from them are preventing you from feeling comfortable with the notion of being with a guy? Unfortunately the lessons from family, religion, and society often have detrimental effects and shame us into rejecting our attraction to guys. It took me many years to unlearn these scripts and accept my true self.

The fluidity of your attractions is normal. As part of your journey, you'll want to figure out if you are more attracted to girls or guys (or equally attracted) using the Kinsey scale or other measure of your choice. FWIW - I identify as gay; however, more precisely I'm homoflexible / Kinsey 5.

 

Date around. You'll figure it out. I wouldn't stress too much about it; that will just drive you crazy. If you know taht you are open to either attraction, then that is the right first step.

 

The same thing happens with me. There's a term people have come to use called "sexual fluidity". Some times you feel more attracted to guys, other times more attracted to girls. And you never know when it's going to change or how long these periods will last. But talking to a few other bi individuals, it does seem to be a thing that happens to some. I hope this helped a little! If you have any other questions, I'm always happy to help the best I can!