I think that I absolutely like men. I mean, I love the way they look, their body and muscles are amazing to me and I would really love to have a relationship soon with a guy whenever that happens. However, even though I would love to have a relationship with a guy I get freaked out about kissing them or doing anything sexual with them. You see, I have this male best friend whom I have known since high school and I asked him would he let me you know experiment on him because I have been curious about the male body because I haven't experienced with it before. He said he would and he asked me what are you welling to try. I told him maybe the kissing part because I haven't kissed a guy before yet. And he says that's doable. However, for some reason I am freaking out here and I have no idea why. I mean, we used to like each other back in high school and we talked for a bit after graduating but we never went out or anything like that. To be honest, we were planning on having sex this week because I asked him if he wants to be like a Temporary Friends With Benefits type of thing because I never had sex before either and I thought that I didn't want to wait anymore. I truly thought I was ready to lose it with him because I have known him for so long I truly did. However, after talking with a good friend of mine I started to think it wasn't such a good idea after all and before I WAS ALL IN and all of a sudden I changed my mind?! Like, what's going on with me?! Maybe it's because I have been questioning myself for like almost a year and now it's starting to mess up whether or not do I truly like guys or girls. I have no idea. I am debating whether to just call the whole thing off even if we are just going to kiss this time because something doesn't seem right to me. I mean, I think it's because I know that he doesn't like me anymore or is it because of something else? advice please??:help::help:
Maybe you're freaking out because you have realised that you don't want your first time to be like you had planned? First time is a big deal for most people. If you're not ready, you're not ready.
