Hi everyone! I've been feeling like I might be sexually attracted to guys for the last couple years. It's been off and on, and I've had a couple girlfriends during that time. My question is to anybody that had hetrosexual relationships & sex before realizing they were gay or bi: how was sex for you before realizing you were interested in the same sex? I find it difficult to be into sex unless I'm emotionally interested in the girl as well. Even then, sometimes it's great, and other times it can get boring - sometimes I don't 'finish' at all. A lot of the time I would get anxious thinking about upcoming sex, which I thought was weird because sex was supposed to be this amazing thing that everyone looks forward to (which is what originally sparked my questioning). Anyways, I'm just wondering if that sounds familiar to anyone, or what your experience was. I really appreciate it
I can't answer your question directly as I have never had sex with a women before. However I do have a couple of thoughts: I think its pretty normal to be anxious when anticipating sex. Also: There is a thing called demi-sexuality. I dont think much research has gone into it yet. But people say they don't really want sex(not as in I dont want to but as in they have no interest in it) with people until they have formed that emotional bond. So maybe that is something worth looking into. Hopefully some people who have had sex with women can get to the meat of your question though.
I've always enjoyed sex with women and never experienced any of the difficulties you mention. The orgasms were pleasurable and enjoyable. Once I started getting physical with with guys, I discovered what I had been missing. The first time I kissed a guy there were more sparks and fireworks than with women. :wow: I discovered what I had been missing Disclaimer: While I identify as gay, I'm more precisely homoflexible / Kinsey 5.
I once saw a bunch of posts claiming demi-sexuality was bull. They were all straight - and I noticed that once me, a gay guy, and a bi friend of mine got up their butts, they shut up xD Demi-sexuality is very, very real, and actually that's the first thing I thought of when I read this post, hehe. (!)
Thanks for the responses everyone! SiennaFire - that's exactly what I was wondering. Looks like I might have to do some experimenting.. haha. What'd you do to take that first step and hook up with a guy?
You don't want to follow my path My denial was very strong and powerful. I married a woman and didn't embrace my true self until midlife. Have you tried LGBT meetups or support groups? These are great ways to meet guys.
Or, if u want to experiment without an emotional connection, u can try a dating app. Before doing so, however, do some research on learning the ropes and taking precautions if u decide to try that route. There are numerous threads that can provide insight if you do a search (although no specific apps are mentioned by name).
Hi OP and others, I too have had girlfriends in the past - but have always had homosexual thoughts and subpar sexual experiences with girls. I think I have reached a point where I need to experience sex with the same gender it to judge for myself and figure out if that's what I really want. I have thought about using apps to meet other guys but can never seem to go through with it. Any advice? Thanks so much
