I think i'm bisexual, but I might just be gay. I definitely have physical attractions to both genders, but I have only had sexual attractions to females, and I have had enjoyable sexual experiences with females. Since the 7th grade though, I have never felt anything emotional for females. At all. Recently I have been struggling to come to terms with my REAL physical/emotional attractions to males (took me 19 years). I do think some males are physically attractive, and get the same internal response as I do with females. The only difference is, I have never fantasized about a male sexually.. or at least naturally. I've been trying to think of males in a sexual way for the past month to maybe help me come out to myself, but it always feels a little forced. I really want to be sexually attracted to males, because a few months ago I completely and totally fell in love with a male, and If I were to ever have a gay relationship I don't see how it would work without sex. When very drunk, I had thought about hugging//cuddling//kissing my him, but that is as far as my mind would take me. I was thinking about coming out to myself as gay but I just don't know if I am sexually into males, and I also don't know what to do with my genuine sexual interest in women. Is this denial? Are these feelings that will fade away if I accept myself? I want to tell people I am bisexual but I feel like I just have a little bit more confusion to deal with. p.s. if it helps anyone help me, I have only ever enjoyed straight porn, except for 2 occasions when I was younger where I could get into some male solo stuff. I have tried recently to watch gay porn and it wasn't doing it for me.
Hey there It all sounds a bit confusing for you at the moment. I went through similar phases when trying to figure out my own sexuality and whether my feelings/attractions for girls were even legitimate, to wondering the polar opposite, if I was somewhere in denial of being gay. In the end, I came out as somewhere in-between, but leaning towards my own gender (which I think prolonged the process of confusion). It sounds like you are definitely physically and romantically attracted to both (maybe romantically, guys more considering you have fallen in love with a guy but said that you haven't felt anything for females before but still feel the immediate attraction). For the moment, that could mean that you're biromantic. The sexual attraction side of it seems more grey. You say that you enjoyed having sex with females before, but also wondered if you were forcing it. I think this is a reasonable reaction considering you're realizing your feelings for the same gender. It really could be either way. Many people will tell you that porn isn't that much of an indicator. I'm kind of indifferent to all of it myself so I'm not really sure :rolle: If you really think that you couldn't act on being with a guy sexually, then maybe you are more straight. Or it could be a matter of acceptance and taking time to understand your feelings. Coming out as bi now when you're not sure probably isn't a good move, and can only add to anxiety when you're really questioning. Some of the ways you may be able to determine if you are attracted to guys sexually are: to imagine it, experience it. If either of these things feel wrong, ask yourself why. Is it internalized homophobia? Denial? Because it's different to what you know (straight sex) or do you genuinely not find guys sexually attractive? Would there be any exceptions at all? If you wanted a label right now, I would say that you're "questioning", maybe bi. Hope some others can help you too
