Helloo, so I'm a 17 year old female and who is very confused on their sexual orientation. I know that we don't need to label ourselves, but I feel like it would make me feel better. My back story is so long so I'll just break it down. When I was younger, I noticed that I had an attraction towards women and men. It started to get more noticeable during my first year at high school and I then started identifying as bisexual as that was how I felt. Over the years, I've had terrible relationships because I really was not interested in any of these relationships (with guys). I never wanted to see him, I never wanted to say I love you, I just didn't even feel part of the relationship. Throughout these relationships, I would wonder what it would be like if I was with a girl - and sometimes imagine that the guy is a girl when I kissed him. I felt so terrible during the relationships because I lost the 'love' feeling towards him within the first week of dating him. Looking back I think I have been suppressing the feelings of liking woman. Earlier this year, I started talking to a girl in a 'flirt' way. It sort of felt right. Like I was meant to do this my whole life. We couldn't be in a relationship as she lived far from me, but I really felt right just talking to her and I don't know why. Because of this, I've started to notice girls a lot more than I used to. I would stare at them because they were so beautiful. I would almost ask them to be my girlfriend, but I'm not that confident. I had another relationship this year and it ended because I realised I really like girls A LOT. Every time I pursue in a relationship, I keep getting less and less interested in boys and I wished I was with a girl. About 3-4 months ago, I started questioning my sexuality. I don't feel bisexual at all because I have no romantic or sexual feelings towards boys anymore, but I can find guys attractive - I'm just picky (can gay people feel this way?). So I must be gay right? It almost seems easy to accept it but I just can't. I'm not saying it's wrong to be gay, but I just can't come to terms to accept that I may or may not be gay. I have supportive friends and I think my family is supportive so I don't really think I have a problem coming out. I really don't even know what my question is, but I think I just need support, to help me accept my sexuality, to tell me their experiences. Thank you so much in advance.
Well its okay to be picky ( its good for you anyways ) Why don't you give yourself some time, I dont think you need to label yourself! You say tht you have been in terrible relationships with guys, have you tried being in a relationship with a girl? If not I suggest you give it a try, who knows you may find what you are looking for. I consider myself gay but I too have realized that I am EXTREMELY picky with girls. I love a guy, but I still am attracted to a few, FEW girls. So dont worry about labelling yourself. Love whom you want to love, and be with the person you want to be!!! Hope you find this helpful
I am in the exact same position as you and am your age aswell you sound exactly like me. I have Sex with a lot of guys and make out to everyone that I am straight because I'm so frightened but when I'm with a guy I never feel anything when I kiss them or touch them and when I think about girls I feel this electric feeling like kissing one would make fireworks go off in my mind But I still have sex with guys and hang with them, I had a boyfriend at one stage too and I didn't feel anything towards him but I was somewhat attracted to him I think the only thing we both can do is give it time... It's no rush I guess Experiment with girls and compare how you feel, we all eventually find out sooner or later so if you feel like being with a girl so much then maybe you are gay? We're only young, so good luck with everything Hope I helped.. I'm in the exact same boat. Message me if you wanna chat
Thank you guys for your responses! I've done a lot of thinking since I posted my first post, and seeing that I don't have any sexual or romantic attraction towards males, I will start identifying as gay and hope to soon come out to my close friends in the future My only problem is that I can say 'I'm gay' but then I have doubts about it. Would you thin it's because it's 'new' to me? That it's hard to accept something you're not used to? You get what I mean?!?
Good to know that you are thinking about your orientation clearly. Some hesistance is normal. You should be able to accept your orientation in due course of time..... "Take care of the present, and the future will take care of itself."
