*I may go into quite a bit of sexual detail, sorry* So basically, I'm an 18 year old male, and all my life I thought I was straight. All my life I've loved women, found women attractive, had crushes on women etc. This has never happened towards a male before. The thought of kissing/hugging or having sex with a male isn't pleasant for me. The thing is that gay porn really arouses me. It's different from watching my "normal" porn though. To put it crudely, it's like I can "finish" instantly from it whereas with other types, it's like it has to build up (Sorry for being so blunt). I know porn is known for being a relatively bad indicator of orientation but why would it turn me on if I'm not attracted to it? I was thinking that I was bi. Although I can see when another male is good looking, it's not like I'm attracted to them or want to kiss them or have sex with them. If I was bi, surely I would have seen another male and felt the way about him the same as I do about women? There are plenty of attractive females at my school, but I don't feel that way about any of the men... What am I?
You're right; porn is a terrible indicator of one's sexual orientation. I for one, even though I identify as gay, prefer straight porn over gay porn... It doesn't mean I'm bi or straight though. I only focus on the male or imagine myself in the female's position and that's enough to get me off :lol: You're probably just over-stressing this. If you have virtually no desire to have sexual or emotional relations with another man then it's clear that you are heterosexual porn isn't realistic anyways; it's designed to arouse you by the connotations of what sex involves and then exaggerates these aspects greatly.
Thanks for the reply. It was really helpful. One other thing that is bugging me is that I don't find gay sex "repulsive", which in my head, means that I MUST like it. Whereas most men I know instantly say it's disgusting and stuff. Are they just trying to prove that they're not gay or what?
Could be, but remember that because the majority of the population is heterosexual, it will feel natural for them to say such things (ew gay sex) because it's considered normal for them. You don't have to find gay sex repulsive to know if you're gay or not. In my case, lesbian porn doesn't do very much to me. In addition, when it comes to the bedroom, I use to think that I was a bottom, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe I just don't like anal sex in general. Forget about stereotypes and just be yourself.
Thanks for the reply. Do gay men see things like muscle etc hot like girls do? I always try and test myself to see if I like it but there's nothing there. Whereas I really like the female body. Like A LOT. It's just strange that there's no attraction in real life or in porn but porn still excites me. Another thing, I only get aroused by it when the men orgasm. Could this mean anything?
Two possibilities: 1. You might be identifying with the power and control shown in the film. A lot of lesbians I know love gay male porn and erotica even though they don't at all want to sleep with guys. The are attracted to the feeling of power embodied in society's dominant bodies: male. 2. Also, many (straight and lesbian) women I know like m/m porn because it allows them to contemplate kinkier stuff in a safe space, where their bodies are not implicated. I know women that LOVE m/m BDSM but find m/f BDSM creepy because of the submissive role played by the women hits too close to the mark. I for one am this kind of person, and there are many people like me. Obviously you are a dude, so these _exact_ situations don't apply in the same way they would for men, but you could still be reacting to the porn as a way of expressing more complicated feelings about power, domination, and satisfaction. Feelings that are more nuanced than "I must like it in real life".
Generally speaking, yes. I think you are identifying with the experience of the guy in the porn who is having the orgasm. That is, the gay porn is helping you fantasize about you, as a man, having an orgasm. So you have one. Regardless of who the other person in the porn is. And it's quite possible that it's because gay porn is often more realistic than straight porn, so you might be better able to identify with the guy. So much straight porn is just over produced imaginary crap. Think about it this way: you can see someone eating on TV, and it can make you hungry. You might not want to eat exactly what they are eating, but you still identify with the act of eating, and it still makes you hungry. Make sense?
Thank you. It's weird that I don't find men's bodies or muscle attractive at all, it's kind of just there... Whereas I can easily find a women's body attractive. Hopefully you're right about the orgasm thing. Whenever I "test" myself and watch gay porn, it's never anything else like kissing, hugging, penetration etc, it's only the orgasm part. The rest isn't pleasant for me to be honest. Thanks for the reply. Hopefully it will stop me obsessing over this pretty much all day like I have been for the past few weeks.
