So I've always assumed that I was straight (or at least mostly straight) but recently I've been questioning that. Now, I know that no one else can figure this out for me and that trying to read into clues from my past is probably pointless and ridiculous but-- I still want to Nancy Drew this shit, so here are the facts: -I am attracted to men and women (maybe women a little more? I've always noticed them more, but I thought they were just objectively more attractive) -I have had crushes on female friends of mine (that I always dismissed as just "girl crushes") -I have never had any real interest in dating men--the only male crushes I've had have been on celebrities, never on someone actually attainable--but I also don't feel like I can rule out the possibility that I might someday have a romantic interest in a guy -I have always had difficulty imagining myself falling in love/getting married, but have recently found it easier (and more exciting!) once I started picturing myself with a woman instead of a man -When I was younger I worried a lot that my friends would think I was gay and avoided doing or saying anything that might be construed as romantic -I also always lied and picked a boy at random when my friends talked about who they were crushing on (I thought I was just really picky, but then why did I feel the need to hide that?) -I've always sought out and enjoyed books, movies, TV shows, etc. with lesbian relationships in them, I guess because I identify with them? -When people assume that I'm straight it makes me really uncomfortable (and it's getting worse the more I stew on this) That's all I can think of at the moment, but there are tons more. I've been obsessing over this just a bit lately. Has anyone else done this? What were your clues? I feel like I should just know my sexuality, but honestly it kind of never occurred to me that I could be anything other than straight. I never knew any lesbians and dating a woman seemed so outside the realm of possibility it was difficult to imagine... But lately I've been imagining it a lot. I've been trying to introspect and find some sort of inner truth to my sexuality and have just felt really uncertain--but maybe I don't have to do this? The fact of the matter is, right now I'm interested in dating women and not men. Is that enough to identify as gay? I'm pretty sure I'm ready to come out and start dating girls but, I don't know... I guess I'm just wanting to hear that other gay/bi people have had similar experiences and this probably isn't some quarter-life identity crisis that will eventually pass.
Hi there! I went through almost the same situation. I always thought myself as straight and thought everything that could have pointed to me towards being bi was the fruit of my imagination. That I was just thinking that to make myself more interesting, which didn't make any sense since I did all I could to hide it... I had a crush on my best friend but convinced myself that she was just a friend even though I wanted to kiss her and hold her and spend all my time with her. The thing that prevented me from identifying as anything is that I had crushes on guy that I would admit and just sweep away the one I had on girls. Plus I wasn't sexually attracted to girls (but i didn't want to have sex with guys either). Finally when that girl stopped talking to me it broke my heart and that's how I knew I had been in love with her. Then I tried to go a gay bar and hooked up with a girl. It was amazing ! I am now dating a guy that I really love, but I totally identify as bi. To me it looks like you're not quite straight. But there is no hurry to put a label on yourself. It can take a while to figure oneself, sometimes it takes a whole lifetime. My advice would be to try out things you feel you might like and see how you like it or not. That's only if you're comfortable enough with that idea. Otherwise, you can just wait and try to make peace with yourself, and let it play out. Hope that helped !
rainbowtheorist - This is exactly what I've always told myself! It does seem unlikely now that my feelings for girls aren't real but I'm still not sure where exactly I fit on the scale. Who I'm attracted to, who I want to date, and who I want to have sex with aren't necessarily the same and it's all terribly confusing. I feel pressured to put some label on it because I know people will ask. I'm also worried that women my age (20s) won't want to date someone who is questioning/closeted. I wish I'd worked through all this when I was still a teenager. acuba403 - This is what I'm thinking too, but since I seem to only have a romantic interest in women I'm wondering if it would be more honest to call myself bisexual or gay.
I literally identify with everything u summed up. When I was around 15 years old my friends always loved to watch romantic movies, and they would always be so happy when the boy and the girl in the movie kissed. And I just couldn't care less haha. I never understood what they liked so much about it. I just thought I wasn't as romantic as they were. Until one day i was home alone and I saw this random movie on tv wherein two women kissed and my heart just started beating faster and I felt so weird.It was the first time I'd seen two women kiss. And then I thought , so this is what they feel when they watch those movies.That was when I really started questioning my sexuality. Deep down I'd known for years but I just lied to myself. Just like you I was scared people would think I was gay and I lied about my crushes. I just tried to act as straight as possible. Luckily, I'm not scared anymore now. I'm still not quite sure what my sexuality is, but whatever it is, i'm ok with it. I don't think about it anymore as much as I did about a year back. No need for a label I'm just gonna see what the future brings. I don't know if this is helpfull, but I hope it is
