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HELP! im having last minute doubts

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by rainbowrunner, Oct 17, 2015.

  1. rainbowrunner

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    So in the last few days I have taken some huge steps, but now I'm not sure if I'm exited or completely terrified. While quite drunk among other things I came out to a few friends, afterwards and the next day I felt some doubt and sense of embarrassment because I am a virgin who has never been in a relationship I felt like I was just doing this for attention but I but I pushed the feeling aside and decided not to let is affect me as I have done with all my previous coming out experiences.
    I then decided to to activate a dating app for gay men that I had downloaded a few days ago, I had looked at it from time to time and tried to see if I found anyone attractive because although I have begun telling people that I'm gay I'm still riddled with self doubt. I live in a small town so the amount of people on the app which is location based was fairly limited but one picture I did find attractive, but I was far to nervous to make an account when I first download it. But today I made an account because with my picture and was really surprised at the amount of responses and while most of them where from guys I had no attraction to whatsoever, but mostly I was surprised by getting a response from the one profile picture I felt really attracted to after talking for a while realised exactly what this guy was interested in a casual sex encounter having never had sex with anyone male or female the thought terrifies me but at the same time I have thought of little else these past few days constantly obsessing about when I how I would have my first sexual experience with a guy and last night when I was drunk I took ecstasy and when high felt allot of attraction towards a male friend, so today when this guy sent me a dic pic and asked me to come round to his it terrified me complelty but I found myself agreeing anyway although I delayed going till tomorrow. The thought of having casual sex with a guy I have never met seems terrifying, but I do find him very attractive also I feel repressed sexually.The thing im most scared of is is that i wont enjoy it but if i dont do something soon my current state of confidence will be in jeopardy so think I'm going to go through with it not really sure what I'm asking here but any advice or support would be welcome thx for bearing with me I know its a long post XD
     
  2. Distant Echo

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    Ok. You can always Change your mind. At any time. At all. Dont forget that. You can back out after you ring the doorbell.., after you are in his house..at any time at all.
    And condoms. For gods sake, dont go bareback. If you don't have any, go buy some.
    And if it doesn't feel right, if you want more from your first time, if you have doubts. You can change your mind. You don't owe this stranger anything. At all.
     
  3. rainbowrunner

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    I I know I will be in control and am mature enough that I would never have sex with a stranger without protection. Also because of the size of my town I have friends who known this guy which doesn't count for much but does for some make me less nervous still im pretty freaked out if that makes sense?
     
  4. Distant Echo

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    Ask him to take it slow. Explain that you are inexperienced and hopefully he will be understanding.
     
  5. rainbowrunner

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    Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it.
     
  6. QBear

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    Also, one way to increase your safety would be to meet this guy in a neutral public place first, such as a coffee house or restaurant. A bar could also work, too, but be careful not to have more than a drink or two, so your decision making isn't impaired.

    This way, you can meet him and get to know him a little before you make the decision about whether to have sex with him. (and in a setting where you won't feel obligated or pressured, as you might at his house).

    Also, please don't take ecstasy or other drugs beforehand - again, you want to have your wits about you AND more importantly, you want to be present for your first time.

    Good luck, have fun, and be safe.
     
  7. rainbowrunner

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    Just thought I let people know how it went. Pretty well all things considered, I do feel some regret but I feel its worth it because I now feel I know myself better than before thanks so much all the advice and support.
     
  8. AshleyDi

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    I would advise against it. You should wait for someone to care about you more than just a quick org. In regards to if you would like it, have you tried putting anything up there yet?