Not sure why I'm still questioning.

There is no reason to try to "figure it out". Relax. Date people you're attracted to. Try sex when that becomes possible/desirable. Observe, adjust and repeat.

 

Hi there, after reading your post I can really relate with your situation as mine is quite similar, except I thought I was gay, yet I'm wondering whether I might just be trying to fit myself into a category for identity's sake, instead of embracing my 'true' feelings and possibly accepting that I'm bi, because at the end of the day, I do feel that I like girls as well. I feel like I'm repressing an aspect of myself if I call myself 'straight', but also denying myself happiness by adopting the label 'gay'. I like some boys, but I also like some girls in the same way as well...

I've never seen sex as a big thing either. Sure it sounds great, but what's the point in sex if there's no emotional connection to the person you're doing it with? I'm 19, a virgin and never been in a relationship, and I'll probably stay that way until I find a person, male or female, who I love and who I'm willing to have sex with (and vice versa) I do sometimes think maybe I call myself bi in order to 'soften the blow' of being gay, but to be honest, I think that's quite unlikely. Although some days I do like guys a lot more than girls, when I see a girl I like, there is no doubt about it that I like her. I naturally like her. The same applies to boys as well. Like what you said about the 'beach test'. I probably look at girls more out of habit, but I do find guys sometimes equally attractive, if not more. It depends how I'm feeling... it's weird haha. However saying that, I like people not just based on their looks, but on their personality as well. For me personally, the combination of the two is what really makes me attracted to them Obviously that's my story, but if you're unsure as to whether you're actually bi, and maybe gay instead, etc, I'd recommend just taking a step back and, in a more relaxed state of mind, consider who you're really attracted to. Not who you think you ought to be attracted to... but who you genuinely find attractive.

P.S. In regards to dating/sex opportunities, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. I know it sometimes seems like there's people outdoing us in terms of experience or happiness, etc but at the end of the day, when you and I find the person that we love/want to have sex, etc, we'll be content with the fact that we took our time to find the right person

Hope this helped. If you want to ask me anything else, you're more than welcome to :smilewave
Thanks,

mrbuddha123 (&&&)

 

Theshreks

mrbuddha123 offers some wise advise that you should find the right person to love and have sex with, whether that be a guy or gal.

I believe that you've taken the Chip masturbation challenge (masturbation without porn to see where one's fantasies go naturally) and that you fantasize about both guys and gals. This to me indicates that identifying as bisexual is reasonable for you. Even if you later discover a preference for guys or gals, so what? The point here is to find someone you can care about and love. You don't need to be perfect in the process of finding them.

 

Hey Theshreks,
Not much in the way of advice to offer but just wanted to say that I'm in essentially exactly the same position as you. I pretty much could have written your entire post.
I'm curious, how old are you if you don't mind me asking?
Another question, what role has porn played in your life. I ask that because I often come across very similar posts to yours, posts that I can really relate to, and I often find that the people in question have struggled with porn and possible porn addiction. For me, I think porn has potentially been the biggest contributing factor to my confusion.

Finally, SiennaFire, I liked your reply

 

It may take time to figure things out and that's okay. Even if you can't figure things out.

Take note of who you're attracted to and be honest. If you're gay then you're gay. If you're not then you're not.

 

It's hard to explain the difference between liking and friendship because it's a feeling and a matter of degree. If you want to be friends with someone, you feel like hanging out with the person. It will be enjoyable and fun, but without a lot of intense feeling or sexual overtones. If you really like a person, you have a much stronger desire to be with them and over time you'll probably feel sexual attraction and the desire to be intimate with them. You may want to google "how does liking someone feel like" to get other ideas.

Regarding your attraction to men or women, you are probably overthinking things. If you start dating, you will gain experiences that will help you refine your though process about your attractions and preferences.

As for your fixation with ass at your sister's fall festival, I don't have any insights based on what you have written. Now had you said that a cute guy was attached to the ass, we'd have something to talk about

 

Based on your masturbation fantasies, you are probably bi, so I'm not sure why you don't notice cute guys. Could it be internalized homophobia or shame that's stopping you? I think you mentioned that you had some anti-gay messages growing up. Are you approaching the cute girls and talking with them?

How is the license coming? With a license you can start dating and/or drive to the LGBT center to meet guys. At some point you need to go out and start dating and confronting the fears associated with dating.