I mean - what psychology does a gay women have in sexual relating

Okay, so I'm not a gay woman, but I'll take a stab at answering some of your questions.

It's probably best to just be yourself. In the long-term, that's all you can really be. You will probably find that being yourself includes acting in some mixture of both stereotypically male and stereotypically female ways. And that's okay.

Well, many gay women use strap-ons to penetrate their partners, so your thoughts of having a penis are likely totally normal, at least from the perspective of wanting to penetrate a partner.
The term "tom boy" typically refers to young women who are physically active and "rough and tumble", and not particularly interested in living up to feminine behavior and beauty standards. Being a tomboy doesn't necessarily say anything about your sexuality; tomboys can be straight, bisexual, gay, pansexual, etc.

This illustrates the difference between sex, gender, and sexuality. Sex is your biological sex - eg. Male or female (and also transmale and transfemale). Gender is your prefered mode of behavior and expression - masculine vs. Androgynous vs. Feminine, and can be thought of as a continuum. Sexuality is who you are attracted to: Heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, queer, pansexual, etc.

It sounds like you are somewhat masculine in your gender expression. And that's okay and normal, and doesn't mean your not a woman. Being a masculine-leaning lesbian woman is totally okay, and fairly common.

Good luck.

 

Um...her own?

Yes! Your own. You act like you!

Is it different with a man? Do you think that somehow when romancing a man, we don't act like ourselves, but rather "like a woman" somehow? I mean, yeah, I'm a woman...so acting like me is acting like a woman. But I'm acting like *me*...whether I'm pursuing a man or a woman!

So calm down, be your sweet tomboyish self, and get to wooing when you're ready for it.

If being you is being aggressive, then yes, some women (even those who like tomboyish women) will be turned off. But if being you is being passive and waiting to be pursued, then some *other* women (even those who like tomboyish women) will be turned off. And if being you is being flirty and silly, then some will be turned off. And if being you is...you get the idea, right? You can't please anyone...you can only be yourself.