I have read on many websites that bisexuality in men isn't real and they will choose to be either gay or straight in the future.Is this true?I now feel that my bisexuality isn't real and it is making me feel down. If this is true how is it that I am having really strong attractions to both males and females.It seems much more than confusion and for me I have my orientation set and I may lean towards loving guys sometimes but I would say I am still bisexual. I would hate it if it wasn't real and all help would be appreciated, TheBiBoy
Oh ok that is a huge sigh of relief.I wouldn't say I am in denial but I just googled it a bit too much. Thanks for the replies, TheBiBoy
Bisexuality in men as just as real as it is in any other gender, and just as real as any other sexual orientation. It's as simple as that. A bisexual man can't end up choosing to be straight or gay, just like any other person can't choose to change their sexuality. There may be websites out there that say this and that, but much of those kinds of talk can be ignorant or misinformed. There are websites out there that say a million different things, and not all of them are true. No matter how bisexual men are "seen" by random websites or other people, they still are who they are. Another possibility is that if a bisexual man settles down with a man or a woman, he's labelled as gay or straight and that he "chose" to be one of those. That isn't true- whatever relationship he is in with whatever gender- he's still bisexual. If you feel and know you are bisexual, you are. You already mentioned having strong attractions to men and women. *Edit: I replied before I saw that you did above ^ haha, but I'll keep my post here. No need to google so much about other people say, you be you. It's real, and you're not confused.
^True. People will say all kinds of things. People say all kinds of misinformed things on the internet. You're attracted to both men and women. You really are bi. You're not using it as a label before coming out as gay. You truly are bi.
Some people see male bisexuality as "just being confused", but I think you'll find that anyone who believes that isn't bisexual and can't truly understand how it feels, and so you shouldn't let their opinions affect you...if you know who you are then that's who you are. No matter what anyone else says...it can't change you
Bisexuality in men is a real thing! Please don't be swayed by that misinformation you've read online. It's also true that men who identify as bisexual at one point in their life may come out as gay as they gain greater acceptance of their sexuality. I identified as bisexual for many years before coming out as gay (more precisely a homoromantic bisexual). Ultimately it's about how you feel. If you feel attracted to both guys and gals, then you are bisexual and should feel proud about it!
The reason you read that is because people are confusing bisexuality with people who (arguably incorrectly) use that label as they are in the process of coming out. Any time we deal with as we process any type of loss, including loss of our identity as straight, we go through a series of stages - denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. During the bargaining phase, people accept that they have same-sex attractions, but they're still having difficulty letting go of what was happening before. So for many gay men, labeling as "bisexual" allows them to hold onto the straight identity while still acknowledging attraction to guys. And for these people, once they process those feelings, and are ready to let go and be who they are, they shed the bisexual label. Problem is... people tend to look at those experiences and generalize them to the whole population, which isn't accurate or fair. So absolutely, bisexual people exist, who stay that way for a lifetime. If you honestly have sexual arousal for (not just caring for and wanting to hang out with) women, there's no question you're bisexual.
What these guys said. Yes, it's a transition label for some. Maybe most, even (we don't know, because men face stigma for being bisexual so we don't know how many bi guys there are, and bi people tend to be heterosexually paired). But bisexuality exists. If you want both, you want both. That's okay! If you are prcoessing and eventually come out as gay, then that's okay too!
I view myself as bi/pan-sexual. I'm 43 years old and this fact has not waned. I am attracted to both male and female intellectually and physically.
People will often say that you're confused or going through a phase, and occasionally that is what happens, but that's not to say that bisexuality in men isn't real. It's just doubted by the larger population. It's very possible, and I would say likely, that you're bisexual, especially because you're serious enough about it to come on here and ask
A lot of sites talk trash about minority orientations and there are a lot of people who believe that there are only two 'orientations'; gay and straight. However bisexuality is certainly real, if you like both that's cool and if you have a slight preference that's fine too. At the end of the day try not to stress over it too much, only you know who you really are and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
People say bisexuality in general isn't real, but yes there's even more of a stigma around bisexual males. If a woman says she is bisexual, people will say she is straight and only doing it for attention. She can get away with it, though, because men find it hot. (Which as a bisexual girl makes me really pissed off because I have a stronger preference for girls and the fact that straight men fetishize my sexuality is part of the reason I only feel comfortable dating bi guys, but moving on...) If a man says he is bisexual, people will say he is actually gay and confused or scared to fully come out. It's funny how society defaults everyone who likes men as only liking men. Don't let it get you down. Despite what some ignorant people might say, bisexuality is very much real and only you have a say in what your sexual orientation is. If it helps, two of my favorite bi youtubers have done videos on this topic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1xnnY7oKtI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNucGEphHWQ
Well yes, in some circles it is seen as just confusion. But then again bisexuality is often not taken seriously but especially with males. It's a double standard really. My two cents.... Usually when I see guys come out as bisexual they tend to face the same criticism. Especially celebrities who people like to gossip about anyway. I saw a celebrity come out not too long ago as bisexual, and there were a lot of comments saying that he was "too flamboyant" to be "just bisexual". Sure, there are guys out there how identify as bi and then come out as gay, but there are also a lot of guys out there who are actually bisexual. When people claim that bisexuality doesn't exist, they often think of those situations to justify their weak argument. With girls, people aren't as shocked if you've made out with another girl. I mean all you have to do is log on to social media and you'll see quite a few close friends posing in pictures where it is unclear if there is something more going on. I particularly hate it when girls do this on social media yet are openly homophobic. Ugh. But anyways.... With male/male friendships there is a lot more pressure to lead a "professional" friendship, i.e. less hugging/touching in general. I mean just look at music videos these days, girls can act flirty with each other and no one bats an eyelid, but if it was two guys then chances are there would be some backlash. I tend to find that people see bisexual females as immature, and "just going through a phase". When I was still in the closet I overheard two people talking once about their friend who had just came out as a lesbian, and how they expected her to be "at least bi" but they weren't sure if they could be friends with her since she was "full on lesbian" and not "just bi". I tend to find younger girls are more accepting of bisexual girls than lesbians, as they see bisexual as more of a "phase" than when someone identifies as lesbian. I also found that these particular girls were more open to "playfully flirting" with girls that identified as bi (touching,fake kisses, slapping each other in umm inappropriate places) but cut off friends that were gay (unless they were a male friend). The world is a strange place. (!)
