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I don't understand why I cried

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by MayaBee, Oct 25, 2015.

  1. MayaBee

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    So I was writing with a very close friend on whatsapp when I suddenly felt like I should tell her that I am not straight.We were chatting about how we both dont understand puberty and that there is a lot of change. But just thinking about telling her made my heart beat so fast that it hurt and made me tear up and, cry. I don't understand why. In the end I didnt tell her. But I feel like I should have.
    The fact that I cried just thinking about telling her made me think. I am not homophobic, she isnt either(we talked about sexuality a lot and how we dont understand homophobic people). So there shouldnt be something to be afraid of... right?
    I dont understand myself. I really dont.
     
  2. Steve FS

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    It's okay Maya. The first time I came out, my heart was beating so fast, I could feel it pulsating in my throat. I seriously felt like I could die of cardiac arrest. Then what I did come out... well, my heart was still beating really fast, lol!

    It's always overwhelming the first time, and it's going to feel terrible leading up to it. But once you release, you're going to feel SO GOOD about yourself, and it gets easier and easier to do.

    Don't worry :slight_smile:
     
  3. Jamie1975

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    I am pleased you have come on here to discuss it.

    Do you think you want to tell her sometime soon, or would you rather wait for the right time to come up?

    Only you will know when the time is right

    xx
     
  4. hyperaware

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    I second what Steve said. It won't be easy and it'll never feel like it's the right time. But once you do it, you'll feel light. Speaking from personal experience.
     
  5. bubbles123

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    Hey it's okay! That's totally normal because coming out can be really scary, even with accepting people.
    I have a friend who's super liberal and accepting and BI herself and it took me probably 5 tries to finally tell her. There's just a lot of scary things about it, especially with someone you're close to because you feel like they know you so well that telling them could change how they see you. But it won't. Because you're still you and she's still your friend and opening up about something like that can just be really scary, but it can also bring you closer to the person you're telling.
    So don't put pressure on yourself! It's super scary sometimes, but just remember it's usually just nerves.
    If you're not ready, you shouldn't put pressure on yourself to tell her and if you do then awesome! I'm sure it will go well, but if it takes a couple tries, that's okay too.:thumbsup:
     
  6. Origamidragons

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    Hey, thats totally fine. Coming out can be incredibly intimidating, especially the first time around and especially when it's drive very close to you. It's totally fine and even wise to take your time until you know you're ready.
     
  7. wanderinggirl

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    *hugs* I cried during so many comings-out. And then I rolled my eyes. And then I laughed. Because sometimes peoples' responses are just ridiculous.

    But mostly I cried. I cried when I told my parents. I cried alone in my room trying to text my friend. I shook with fear when let it slip for the first time. Saying it makes it real, it makes it concrete, marries your internal life to your external life. It's intimidating for sure, and only you can know when the time is right to do it.

    Sometimes you have to try a few running starts before you make the leap; maybe next time you'll just say something like "i have to tell you something" which is easy enough to say, and then you're at the point of no return, and then you've cracked the door. They're running through worst-case scenarios in their head (you're pregnant? you're in trouble with the law?) and the least horrible thing you can say is "i'm not straight." So when you say it, it's not that big a deal to them, but you will feel such a relief having let a huge part of yourself slip out, that maybe you'll cry all over again.

    Coming out is always a risk even if you know someone isn't homophobic. It's always scary. Especially because the first person you tell is probably the most important, and losing them would be a betrayal. But if you think those odds are minimal, keep reminding yourself that being out, just a peep, is worth it.
     
  8. mychemromance99

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    Hey it's okay.
    The first time is the most difficult.
    Choose someone who is very close to you, someone who won't judge you and tell them.