Gay but can't fully accept it... Hi there, from ever since I was a little kid, I've always been attracted to guys a lot more than girls. I've always felt that spark between me and other guys, whereas I just can't feel that spark between me and girls. I try, I really do try, but I feel as if I'm forcing myself to 'love' girls when in fact the feelings I have for guys come naturally, without coercion, and that's what convinces me I'm gay. However there are times when I see a girl, be it at work or out of work, and I think to myself 'Wow, she looks pretty hot', etc and then suddenly I start doubting I'm gay and think maybe I'm bi instead, etc. I don't understand how I can be gay, not want to have sex with women, not want to be in a relationship with women, but still find them as attractive as some guys I'd like to have sex with??? I don't know what I am or what to make of it really... is it probably just me trying to deny I'm gay and keep myself in the closet for life, or do you think I'm bi to a degree? Any help would be appreciated
Being gay does not mean that you cannot find members of the opposite sex attractive. When you find women attractive, is there more going on than recognizing their beauty? That is, do you want to have sex with them? There are shades of bisexuality, so it's possible that you are attracted predominately to guys but you may be attracted to some women (this is referred to as 4 or 5 on the Kinsey scale). While I'm a 5 on the Kinsey scale, I identify as gay. The pertinent question here is are you attracted sexually or romantically to these women or are you simply recognizing their beauty? HTH
Hi SiennaFire, thanks very much for your reply That's a good question, because when I think about it, I guess I am just recognising their beauty. I never feel romantically attached to women, or sexually for that matter. It always seems to be a sort of platonic connection and nothing more. Although sometimes I have thought that maybe I'm a 4 on the kinsey scale, after reading your reply and having a proper, honest think about it, I don't believe that what I feel for women is enough for me to be qualified as anything but gay, because my feelings for guys are on another level to those of girls. Again, thanks very much for your help SiennaFire and I kinda answered my own question within this answer as well lol mrbuddha123 (&&&)
Sienna hit the nail on the head, it seems like you're attracted to women's beauty and not sexually. This is perfectly normal. In fact, I hung out at a party of about 15 people the other night, 6 of us gay. All 6 of us found women a little attractive. Seriously, not one Kinsey 6 of the bunch. That still doesn't make us straight, or really all that bi even.
Hi guitar, thanks for your reply as well. Your point about the party is a great little piece of advice. It helps clear up the confusion that was rattling around in my head haha Thanks again guys :icon_wink