While it's not the biggest newsflash in the world, nor the reason why I came to EC in the first place, addressing my sexuality has been a big issue for me personally. For the longest time I was horrified of being gay. So much internalized homophobia has been hard-pressed into me, my whole life, that "gay" could never be a possibility. I literally did not want to be gay. Wasn't trans enough, I asked myself? I tried the other labels. I tried asexual (because I'm a loner, and kind of a monk, with no hope for true love) and I tried bisexual/pansexual (because being at least "partially attracted" to women would make it easier for my family to accept me as male). But these were just excuses... Ultimately means of omission in order to avoid the truth. I'm not ace. And I'm not bi. I'm sure not straight. I'm just... gay. Sure being trans and gay isn't an easy pill to swallow, but that's what I was given. I'm tired of pretending like I'm not attracted to guys, in order to align with some self-perceived person I "should be." I realize that I was made this way for a reason. And for the first time, I need to allow myself to accept myself, as I am. Not as someone created to appease the people around me. Lastly I just wanted to thank all you guys at EC. I've come so far since joining, and learning to accept myself just a little more every day. Couldn't have done it without you. (And shout out to all my fellow gay trans-people. Have any stories to share?)
Congratulations for figuring it out and I wish you all the best in accepting and embracing it- I'm very glad you're in the position now to contentedly be yourself; It's very nice and I'm happy for you.
Does that you mean you were initially a female (who liked guys), and then decided to become a male (who liked guys)? Sorry, I'm confused; I'm curious and I'm trying to get my head around it. But anyway, congratulations!
Wow kodo was almost like reading my own self I didn't want to be gay hated it thought my dad would kill me if he found out. I became the straightest guy in the world denied everything.. Glade to see your happy with yourself now, me too took a long time but it makes you feel right like all the anger is gone and you can like yourself even if subconscious you didn't even realize it completely.. So good for you
