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How do I use a dildo comfortably?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by EpicConfusion, Oct 29, 2015.

  1. EpicConfusion

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    I just got a 6 or 8 inch dildo that a friend bought on my behalf. It's glass. I tried to use it, but I couldn't really relax very well and I had to stop because it started hurting and my butt felt really kind of raw. I did use lube, but not lube specifically for anal use. It was a brand called astroglide. It didn't really seem to work very well for anal, but maybe I was just using it wrong.

    What am I doing wrong? How can I use the dildo without hurting myself or feeling uncomfortable?
     
  2. angeluscrzy

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    Relaxation would be key, and just take your time.
     
  3. Jax12

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    I use astroglide, both for masturbatory purposes and anal sex. It works, you might need to find a comfortable position to put it in. Just take your time and find a position that works.
     
  4. looking for me

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    try using your fingers, lubed of course, to work your way up to your dildo. this may take several tries to relax the scphinter enough for your dildo to be comfortable.
     
  5. Biker boy

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    Try working it in slowly foreplay everyone loves try teasing yourself rubbing the outside just touching slightly to help you relax don't just go for gold take steps in and out then move deeper as you feel comfortable just take your time and enjoy the time you spend with yourself and things will start working with no pain
     
  6. SiennaFire

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    Watching some porn and then spreading your legs into a position used for anal might help as well.
     
    #6 SiennaFire, Oct 30, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2015
  7. AceBiologist

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    As was said before, finger yourself until you can fit 3 comfortably before even trying the dildo. Remember, once it starts hurting, your sphincter will tense up involuntarily, so go slow and never try to just bear with the pain in the hopes it will go away. (The same is true in partnered sex, by the way. If your top tells you "it will only hurt a minute", kick him out of your bed because he's either cruel or has no clue what he's doing.) It will also help if, instead of pushing the dildo in, you sort of push out against / over it. Kind of bear down like when you have a bowel movement - you can't consciously relax the inner sphincter muscle, but your brain is used to relaxing it when you push. In terms of positions, a loose fetal position on your side may be easiest, since that mimics a sleeping position, which suggests to your brain to relax your body. Besides, it means you don't have to tense the big muscles in your legs or buttocks to hold the position. It's recommended by doctors during prostate exams on men who don't normally play with their ass for this very reason.

    If you're still a little sore afterwards (the endorphines your brain produces when you're really enjoying yourself mask quite a lot of things that would ordinarily be painful, so it's not unusual to find yourself feeling a little chafed or bruised once you come down from your orgasm - tearing and bleeding, however, is not normal and a sign of too little warm-up and/or lube), I recommend some sort of salve with wool wax, hamamelis extract (witch hazel) and zinc oxide - you'll probably find something like that sold as a "barrier cream" for baby bottoms with diaper rashes. Penaten has been the go-to brand for a century where I live, but I don't know if they export that to your country. It's very thick and sticky, doesn't absorb much into the skin, and might smear your underwear (it washes out with simple curd soap), but a fingertip full of the stuff inside your sphincter will make your next trip to the toilet a lot less painful, and heal the soreness within a day or two (assuming there are no actual tears).
     
    #7 AceBiologist, Oct 30, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2015
  8. EpicConfusion

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    Thanks for all the advice guys :grin: I have been trying out the various things you have suggested and I also bought petroleum jelly to try as lube and it worked a lot better! Today when I used my dildo it was quite comfortable and painless, although I wasn't able to do any in-and-out motions comfortably, only a kind of rocking gentle pushing movement, but it felt great in any case. Is it normal for me to not be able to put it in very far? I have heard there's a kind of "wall" a few inches inside your butt, and I think this is what is causing me to not be able to go very far in.
     
  9. pasinhose

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    I recall trying to get broken in like you and a lot of it is relaxation and the angle of the head. I use Fuckwater and a Boss Stubs dildo from Fun Factory. A bit pricey but nice. As suggested, lube your anus and just massage the area. And to help I do bend over(!). I find entry is easier. Once in I have not encountered any wall. Take your time and enjoy. Its truly a pleasure.
     
  10. AceBiologist

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    Well, petroleum jelly is quite sticky and viscous, proper lube is much more fluid and slippery, which makes larger movements easier. Though the kind of wild pistoning you see in porn is usually achieved with the use of numbing creams and maybe poppers. A short-stroke grinding motion centered on your prostate feels better for many people in real life. Also remember that a real (intact) penis has a sheath of moveable skin it can slide in and wouldn't really rub all that much directly against your sphincter. Dildos are made in one piece, so you have to move more slowly and carefully so you don't hurt yourself with too much friction.

    Hm... I remember getting better results with petroleum jelly on my sphincter + some kind of lighter oil on the dildo, if real lube isn't close at hand. If you have some aroma-free cooking oil (like canola or sunflower), that would work in a pinch.

    I have never read of any kind of 'wall', unless you mean your inner sphincter muscle (1 inch in at the most), or the 90° bend to the sigmoid colon (which normally is barely reached by a penis, unless its really long). There was a more indepth discussion of possible sources of pain deeper inside than just the sphincter here, which might be of help:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/physi...3-internal-pain-during-anal-sex-whats-up.html
     
  11. EpicConfusion

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    Ah right. I'm forgetting that porn isn't realistic. I think the thing I was talking about was like a bend in the intestine or something. At least that's what I remeber reading.
     
  12. mychemromance99

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    Try relaxing yourself with your fingers before the dildo. You should ensure that you're comfortable with your fingers and l
    relaxed enough. And don't use silicon based lubes on silicon dildos, they dont go well together.
     
  13. Charon

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    You should've practiced with a smaller one first, and your fingers. That's what I did, and eventually I was able to use bigger ones.