1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

So I have a boyfriend, and...

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by WillJ, Nov 2, 2015.

  1. WillJ

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Hi I'm will, I'm a 17 year old boy and I'm really unsure about my sexual orientation, I've had a boyfriend for almost six months now, and I really think I'm falling in love with him (aww), but whilst he makes me really happy and whilst I love being with him, it's also causing me some serious problems, including insomnia, and I've even experienced narcolepsy. This is because nobody knows at my school, and I'm constantly afraid that people will find out because homophobia is pretty prevalent at my school, I'm a popular guy and so is my boyfriend, but I'm sure that would change in an instant if it got out, so I'm constantly worried whenever I see him that someone will catch us kissing or holding hands or something, it's really terrifying. A few people from my primary school know I have a boyfriend, but they also understand that I'm not ready to define myself with an orientation. My mum definitely suspects, I think. He's been to mine and I've been to his as a 'study mate' () and in sure she'd be fine if she found out, but the single biggest issue in my life at the moment is my dad. He's highly homophobic and has made it clear to my brother and I that he would never accept us if either of us were with a guy. Unfortunately this has trickled down to my brother and he's also not accepting at all. It really scares me that one day I might fall in love with a guy and want to marry them, and I would have to tell him, and be disowned, and I don't want to face that, I think it would be hard for me to be happy with that hanging over me. If any of you have any advice on what I should do, that would be amazing, but im hoping that this can just turn out to be a great way to get things off my chest. Thanks guys!
     
  2. TheBiBoy

    TheBiBoy Guest

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Not Specified
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Ok so your in a pretty tough predicament here.Do you trust anybody to talk to about your problems because they will be a great help to you which I will explain later.Where do you hang out with your boyfriend?Is it a very public place where people can see or is it less of a public place?What I mean by this is that did you ever think about going somewhere where the people in school usually go.Maybe try to become friends with some of them without telling them your sexuality.
    If you become friends with some of them they may tell you were they usually go an then you can avoid them once you know where they go.You may have to make some sacrifices about where you go for something to eat but if you love your boyfriend this much I think you would be happy to make this sacrifice.
    Talk with your boyfriend about it and he may also make some new friends to find out where they go and then maybe he can avoid them aswell.I am not telling you to become spies but it will greatly help.Coming back to the person you trust.If you feel up to it you may be able to come out to a select few of people in the school and make sure they promise not to tell anyone else.
    Then if you do get bullied you can talk to this person you trust and they maybe able to help you with the bullying problem to get it to stop.Basically what I am saying is,be proud of your sexuality and don't let it define that much if who you are in terms of personality.

    If you need more questions please feel free to ask here or on profile wall messages.
    Best of Luck,
    TheBiBoy
     
  3. Xanesa21

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2015
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Paris
    Hello guy!

    Well first of all there always will be some people who won't accept you for who you are. Not only about orientation. So it's pretty obvious that when you will come out you will always have some firendly and supportive people and these ones who will blame you and laught at you.
    So in my opinion you should talk to your mom, you will have this one person who is (i guess) important for you and she will propably support you. Then you can also talk to her about that you're afraid about your dad and ask her if you should tell him that you're gay or no.
    Well i know my cousin, he's gay and his father was homophobic too BUT after he come out his father said that he is his son and he don't care at all. I'm sure that he prefer him to be straight but he accept him. I can't say what your father will do.
    That will be really easier for you if you will have alteast one person to talk about your feelings :slight_smile:

    Good luck with that :slight_smile:
     
  4. WillJ

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    London
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Thanks guys, it's really great to have advice from people who are going through/have been through similar things
     
  5. TheBiBoy

    TheBiBoy Guest

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2015
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Not Specified
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    You are very welcome WillJ.Always glad to be of help.