Hi, I'm a young woman btw. I am very confused about my orientation... So I'll start with Ive had crushes that were never serious on both sexes since high school and always thought I was bisexual (although I only ever fantasize sexually about women). Until I actually went out with a guy, I'll call him "A" and found that I always had to think of women during sex... But what makes it complicated is that I went out with "A" even thought I had a crush on "B"(another guy). Whom I had the most serious, longest lasting crush in my life by far. And I wasn't attracted to "A" to begin with. But after a little while I fell in love(I think) with "A" and forgot about "B", who also moved away. Anyways I am not with "A" anymore(he is the only person I ever even kissed/been with btw) but we are still close friends and I recently moved to the same city as "B" And now all those same really strong feelings for "B" are coming back which is annoying and I can't believe they're still alive and kicking! Like Ahhh! Why!? So a couple years back when all this went down, "B" told me he liked me. So why didn't I go out with this person that I've had the only serious crush on ever?? Pretty much because I didn't want to get my heart broken, he talked about how he wanted to move away, and was pretty immature/selfish and "A" was the safer choice so I went for "A" which was probably a better descision because my heart is doing great . Nowadays "B" is finally maturing so that's good, haha. But I'm afraid that if I went out with him I'd have to think about women during sex in which case I'd rather be with a woman. When I've seen "B" with his shirt off I think "hmm his hairy belly is kinda unattractive..." And in general I find men's bodies plain and uninteresting and definitely not arousing. Also penises are ugly, plain and simple. Imo. Every part of a woman on the other hand is amazingly beautiful and sexy. Do gay men and straight/bi women think men's bodies are uninteresting, do women just naturally have sexier bodies? Im left wondering why wasn't my most serious crush on a woman? If "B" was a woman I'd go out with them in a second and all would make sense. Opinions? Do I sound straight or bi or gay? Also I'm seriously considering finding a woman to make out with and also making out with Brandon to compare the two. I know people say you should just know and not have to do that but I really don't know. Should I try and forget about "B" and stop hanging out with him and just go out with a woman? Or should I just go for it with "B" and see what happens? I'm sorry this post is pretty much "Why are women so sexy?" "Why am I in love with the guy with the hairy belly?" Haha Thanks!!!
you're definitely not straight! whether you're bi or gay is up to you, like can you imagine yourself married/in relationship with a man/woman? if so you're probably bi, if not you're probably gay. but if having sex with a man is uncomfortable for you then you shouldn't be with B (or men in general), you should be with someone who you're attracted to romantically and sexually, perhaps a woman. i hope this helps
Hi thanks for your input i only ever imagine myself with a woman in the future like married and everything(but again I have had crushes on men) and I think women are more attractive and being with a guy was uncomfortable sexually but I don't know whether that's because I was never attracted to him in particular to begin with or what. Also I always check out women and think about women that's why this ridiculous crush is so confusing, I don't understand why I have feelings for this guy even though women are so much more attractive...
We're on the same page! I'm starting to think I might be homoflexible, because I feel sexually attracted to girls and I would see myself in a relationship with one, whereas I'm not appealed at all to the idea of having sex with a guy. The problem is, right now I have feelings for a guy! So yeah, I still have to figure out what to do, because although I like him, I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable with him sexually.
Hi thanks for the reply! It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way! I remember talking one of my friends who is a straight guy and he said sometimes he would see and guy and be like "wow, he is hot", and question whether he wanted to befriend him or if he was attracted to him, or sometimes even have "man crush" as he described but he said what he always went back to was when he thought about having sex with a guy it was not appealing at all, so he just knew he was straight. So I'm wondering why me or you as women would consider dating someone even though sex with them wasn't appealing... I was thinking if you and I were men we probably wouldn't settle for someone we were only emotionally attracted to, we'd only go out with someone we were super excited about having sex with as well. I think it has to do with women taking their emotional attractions very seriously maybe... I've decided I really don't want to put myself in another dating situation where I love a guy enough that I don't want to leave him even though the sex isn't arousing. So on that note I think I won't go out with this guy or any guy even though I have a crush. I was also thinking because I just moved I am still in the process of making friends so he is one of the best friends I have here, so that might be it too, i think I just have to go out and meet more people. I want to have both the intense emotional attraction and sexual attraction. Like I know for sure I am attracted to women both emotionally and sexually so I'm just gonna go with that. If anything I might kiss this guy though just to make sure because I don't want to make a mistake and have to tell my homophobic family anything if I don't have to... Although I still don't know what to call myself, maybe bi where I'm emotionally attracted to both sexes but only sexually attracted to females... But then I don't want my parents to have hope for me marrying a guy... I don't know maybe I should try sleeping with him just to make sure I'm not into het sex which is something I never thought I would be considering...
