Ok so this is going to seem trivial but I think that it is more important than I fully realize. I recently joined a group on a popular meetup site for bi-sexual women in my area. I am literally just coming out of the closet as a bi-sexual female (I'm 21) so I figured that this would be a good outlet for me to connect with people who share my orientation. I did notice that some of the events (actually a lot of them) tend to be sexual in nature even if there is no touching involved. There is a dinner event this Wednesday and a more sexual(?) event on Saturday I think. I am not entirely sure what the event on Saturday implies but it does require lingerie. The event on Saturday runs until 2am so..... yea. I am a virgin and I am interested in getting to know my interest in women better but my virginity is important to me to a degree because I am a Christian in a community that appreciates virginity. I see nothing wrong with having sex before marriage or even having sex with multiple people. However, if I did have sex with a woman I am not entirely sure (in a good way) how much I would be attached to that memory, especially if I had no emotional attachment to the person. I have no emotional attachment to any of the guys that I have kissed. Plus, I do have interest in having a relationship with a man (I think) and I feel like I would want to have sex with a woman before I entered a serious long term relationship with a man otherwise I fear that I will bottle my sexuality for too long. Sooo..... should I go to the group event on Wednesday and/or Saturday with an opportunity to possibly be with a woman OR should I pass up this opportunity? I almost want to slap myself for even thinking about this. My other option is to just go to the events and just not "participate".
I'm not sure I totally understand your view on having sex at one of these events--I can't tell if you are pro or against. Definitely don't lose your virginity to a stranger IF it's important to you to experience your first time with someone you care about. That being said, maybe try out the Wednesday event and see what you think of the vibes. No one can make you do anything you don't want to. You can reassess at that point. Maybe you'll feel really comfortable and want to relax your restrictions a little. Or maybe you'll know it's not for you.
Thanks. I think that I answered my own question in writing this thread. I don't think that I will engage in anything but I still might go to the Wednesday event to meet everyone. I actually would highly discourage someone else in my situation to engage. But perhaps you are right, maybe I will feel comfortable when I meet them but I am definitely not going to hold my breath. I will see how I feel about it and I will try not to make a stupid choice.
You seem like you really want to be with a woman at some point. I think you should go to this event and enjoy yourself. Even if you don't want to be with a woman you're whole life, this experience should be fulfilling. It doesn't need to involve emotional attachment and you could just see it as a fun experiment. However, if you want to satisfy the emotional curiosity, definitely consider dating a woman even if it doesn't end up lasting that long. I feel like you should have time to soul search before you enter a long term relationship with a man, in whatever capacity feels right.
Thank you for your advice. I spoke with one of my lesbian friends tonight and she told me the same thing. I think that I am going to go and see how I feel about it and just leave if I don't want to stay. I wont be obliged to participate. You're right, I should probably soul search before entering a long term relationship.
