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Homophobia..... How to deal with it?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by mychemromance99, Nov 10, 2015.

  1. mychemromance99

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    Okay so I'm gay and I'm in India and many of my classmates say quite many hateful things about homosexuals (I'm not out to everyone). 'Gay' is replacing abuses and expletives. And sometimes I feel hurt. I jump in trying to be defensive but they start questioning my sexuality instead. I don't want everyone to know about my sexuality and the very thought of others finding out frightens me. Somehow being gay is seen as something bad and perverse.... I'm sorry if this agitates you all.
    But I don't know how to react to such comments. I can control my temper but I feel hurt. What to do?
     
  2. Alder

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    I'm really sorry this is happening and you feel this way. I feel lucky to live in an okay-ish accepting environment, but there are people around me and in the media who aren't accepting; as is a lot of the local society around me. So I know how it might feel.

    If it isn't safe for you to defend yourself and your sexuality, I would say put your personal health and safety first. As much as it hurts to stay in the closet during times like these, if you risk getting hurt or putting yourself in danger by arguing with them, it probably isn't worth it.

    People will say horrible things sometimes; they may be ignorant on some things, raised on some beliefs, or simply just homophobic. As pointless as saying this is (as I'm sure you understand it, but I'll say what I think anyways)- their comments don't define you, the validity of your identity, or you and your worth as a human being. There is nothing wrong with being gay, and no matter what they say try to hold on to that. You're not doing anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with you- the only thing that is wrong here are others' attitudes towards this.

    If it isn't safe to react, I think the best between a rock and a hard place here is to not react, especially if it puts you in danger. This situation won't last forever, as uncomfortable and hurtful as it might be right now. If you have anybody to talk to, try and talk to them and have a support system around you- even if you aren't out to everyone, you say you're out to close friends in your info, so if it's possible to communicate with them, maybe try that. If that isn't possible, try and surround yourself with positivity and the good of the LGBT+ community; whether it's coming back onto EC after a long day, or watching good LGBT+ media if that's safe for you (eg movies online, TV shows, all that). Hold on there, you won't be stuck here forever. There's better things coming ahead, and if you ever need support or anything, we're all here for you (&&&)
     
    #2 Alder, Nov 10, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2015
  3. mychemromance99

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    Hey thanks!
    I'll probably wait a looooong time......
     
  4. Secrets5

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    Hello,

    Maybe ask them why they're homophobic? If they don't know or if why they know isn't valid to today's society, then you can get them to change. Make sure you leave [actually walk away if possible] it on an open ended question that supports gay/LGBT+ to get them to think.
     
  5. mychemromance99

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    I've tried that ↑
    but the replies that I've heard are too bad.
    Their views are just so ignorant. They believe gay/lgbt+ people are weirdos with mutilated/nonexistent/mixed genitalia.
    And yes that's one of the answers I've got.
    Sorry if that hurts, or enrages you....
    But it is just one of their replies.
    So I have decided on avoiding homophobes and such discussions. It just hurts to listen to such BS.
     
  6. Secrets5

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    Oh, I suggested [not saying definite] that homosexuality is a genetic mutation as all animals have a survival of the fittest to procreate their generation and you can't procreate using the same sex. [and that this mutation happened after the Bible so they said it was 'wrong' without guidence]

    *However* I never said this as a bad thing. It's like how blonde hair, blue eyes, white skin are genetic mutations also. They're just neutral [biological] things that happen and are just as acceptable.

    Sorry if this offends you. I suggest things to get other people's reply, and hear what they have to say [as long as it's constructive].
     
    #6 Secrets5, Nov 11, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2015
  7. mychemromance99

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    Hey, I was't offended :slight_smile:
    Now that I think of it, I'm rather amused by people's igonorance.