Hey guys, I find myself feeling very feminine in relationships with men, and masculine with women. With men, I tend to crave a lot of attention and cuddles, and with women I feel protective and like to take care of them. I enjoy feeling masculine, and it feels natural and right for me. However, with men I usually feel unfulfilled when I feel feminine. Maybe because I feel guys aren't as attentive to me as females? I feel like I want a certain type of attention from them, but they don't consistently meet that need, so I don't have many good experiences with it. And maybe, this has created an aversion in me to feeling more feminine versus masculine? Anyway, my question is, do other bisexuals feel this sharp swaying from feminine to masculine when they date each gender? And if so, does it feel better to you when you feel more masculine or more feminine, or does it not matter? Thanks, I just want to know if there are other people experiencing this and how they think about it.
I think that's pretty typical, and people can change in terms of what they prefer as time goes on. Both of those things are very common and normal.
I'm feminine in general, but I'm only now exploring a relationship with a woman after an 18 year marriage. I do find myself being much more forward than I would in pursuing a relationship with a man, and while it feels natural, it's also kind of scary, so I'm careful about not pushing and making sure we're both comfortable with my taking the lead. I wouldn't say I feel masculine, but that I'm taking the societally defined "male" role. It's strange, though, because I am definitely the more feminine person in the relationship. Maybe you feel comfortable in a masculine role, regardless, but feel society doesn't allow that in a relationship with a man? I don't consider myself feeling masculine, but taking the more dominant position, which is associated with masculinity. It doesn't bother me, because I can still express my inherent femininity. That's my take; I hope you can draw something from it.
I don't. I am a fairly feminine woman (despite some traits that our society considers masculine, such as being analytical, forthright, etc.). But in a relationship, I look for egalitarianism. I certainly am co-equal (neither dominant nor submissive) with my female partner. For a long time I thought I could never have a relationship with a male, because so many males would *require* (or expect, or assume) dominance, and expect me to be submissive. While I'm a bit of a sub in the bedroom (with either sex), I *need* egalitarianism in the relationship. Fortunately, I've resolved this issue for myself, and accepted that there are (of course) men who are fine with relationships being egalitarian. But no...I look for the same thing in relationships with both men and women.
