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Update

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Theshreks, Nov 12, 2015.

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  1. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Yo here's a little update. So with the help of Sienna Fire I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably Bisexual. So this is a weird and new thing for me so I'm still trying to get comfortable with it. I'll update anything important in this thread. Maybe even stuff not that important. But yeah that's about it. Thanks.
     
    #1 Theshreks, Nov 12, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 12, 2015
  2. Alder

    Alder
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    Congrats, you're moving forward in figuring yourself out, so feel free to keep updating! Hope it goes well.
     
    #2 Alder, Nov 12, 2015
  3. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    thanks I will.
     
    #3 Theshreks, Nov 13, 2015
  4. SiennaFire

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    I was very glad to see your post and that you are beginning to get comfortable as bisexual. I know that accepting oneself as not straight can conjure up a series of feelings that may be uncomfortable, so keep on pushing forward and posting about your journey. Discovering your true self will make it all worth it (!!)
     
    #4 SiennaFire, Nov 13, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2015
  5. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Yeah its kinda weird but I'm starting to like it. There's still shame over gay fantasies but I'm hoping to get over that. There's shame being attracted to guys in anyway. Its easy when its just me but when I think about what people around me would say it gets hard. I'm not sure how I'm gonna explain this when I' ready. People don't seem to understand being bi like they do gay.
     
    #5 Theshreks, Nov 13, 2015
  6. SiennaFire

    SiennaFire
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    Overcoming the shame was the hardest part for me. Took me until midlife to discover the confidence not to care what others think about my sexuality. This is why LGBT meetups and other contacts in real life are so important - they are an effective counterbalance to the societal messages that perpetuate our shame.
     
    #6 SiennaFire, Nov 13, 2015
  7. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Very true. If I can't get into that kind of stuff when I get my driver's license I'll definitely do it once I go to college.

    ---------- Post added 13th Nov 2015 at 10:45 PM ----------

    I just worry hope its a "I'm really gay but lying to myself" situation. I do feel like I like and have genuinely liked women in the past and present. I guess I hear so many horror stories from gay men who thought they were bi or hid behind the label. And from gay men you had their hearts broken by a bi man. You were kinda like Sienna, how'd you know you were gay and not bi?
     
    #7 Theshreks, Nov 13, 2015
  8. SiennaFire

    SiennaFire
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    You've mentioned several times that you don't want to be in a situation where you are gay but are lying to yourself by identifying as bisexual. Let's say worst case that this is true, what is the harm if you ultimately come out as gay or bisexual with a stronger preference for guys? I don't see it as a big deal.

    I identified as straight for most of my life and then identified as bisexual for a few years. Today I identify as Kinsey 5, which I round to gay in real life. I wasn't ready to go from straight to gay, and I really don't care if someone thinks any less of me because of it.

    What's important here is that we ultimately discover our true selves and are not afraid of it.
     
    #8 SiennaFire, Nov 14, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2015
  9. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Yeah it won't be a big deal honestly. I mean at first yeah but overtime it would get better. I was at my friend's house(a friend i hadn't seen since i was 11) and i was talking and felt something. not like a lovely thing more so i wanna fuck her type thing. she looked way better than i remembered. i'm probably not gay but yeah if came out as that or bi with a preference for guys it'd get use to it. i'd have no choice.
     
    #9 Theshreks, Nov 15, 2015
  10. SiennaFire

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    Since you felt some attraction to your friend, do you have plans to see her again?
     
    #10 SiennaFire, Nov 16, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2015
  11. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    Nah I said my friend's mom. Yeah I left out some words so you got the wrong message. And yeah I'm going back to my friend's house this weekend. My friend is a guy btw.
     
    #11 Theshreks, Nov 16, 2015
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  12. SiennaFire

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    Since you left some words out of your previous post, I'm going to ask you some more questions :slight_smile: Do you feel anything for your guy friend? Is he straight?
     
    #12 SiennaFire, Nov 16, 2015
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  13. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    I thought I felt something but nah. When I went to his house it was just like old times. I didn't feel anything I would've known if I did.

    And yeah he's straight.
     
    #13 Theshreks, Nov 16, 2015
  14. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    bump
     
    #14 Theshreks, Nov 17, 2015
  15. SiennaFire

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    Not much more to share about this situation. How do you know he's straight? I'm sure he assumes you are straight ...

    At some point you'll want to start coming out to friends. I'm thinking you'll want to do this after you start dating and get a better handle on your bisexuality. The only possible exception would be in cases where you are crushing on a guy who you think is gay/bisexual and you come out to him as a way of opening the discussion. That's not the case here. For now it's probably better to wait on coming out to your friends.
     
    #15 SiennaFire, Nov 17, 2015
  16. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    He's straight trust me. Yeah he assumes I am. When he saw me last we were 11 so yeah. And that's a probably a good idea to wait.
     
    #16 Theshreks, Nov 17, 2015
  17. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    bump
     
    #17 Theshreks, Nov 21, 2015
  18. SiennaFire

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    Not much more to share about this situation. I'm waiting for your next update that you've asked a girl out or that you've gone to an LGBT center and have met a wonderful guy :slight_smile:

    In the meantime, here's something fun. I would bet $1.00 that your friend is not straight. While the expected value of the bet is statistically in your favor, it's actually a bad bet for you.
     
    #18 SiennaFire, Nov 22, 2015
  19. Theshreks

    Theshreks
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    OK I'll update when(and if) that happens. Yeah I have no doubt that he's straight. There's no question about it.
     
    #19 Theshreks, Nov 22, 2015
  20. Theshreks

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    talking to a girl. just friends for now. not much to say about it unless you ask.
     
    #20 Theshreks, Dec 3, 2015
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