I came out a few months ago as a lesbian, but now I realised I have feelings for a guy so I just started to date him. A "friend" of mine, though, told me that she knew all along that I had always been straight and that it was just a phase, and it really pissed me off because, even if now I'm dating a guy, that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to girls anymore. I'm so stressed now and I can't live my relationship happy and relaxed because I'm worried about what everyone will think. I'm afraid that they won't take me seriously anymore and, even worse, they will think that I had been just "confused" all the time and that I had always been straight, which I'm not. Has anyone been through this?
I haven't been through this, but I think the people who matter most and are closest to you will understand if you tell them that you actually might be bisexual instead. I think this problem is common, even with people are out as 'bi' and not 'gay' anyway, and people will just think that someone's straight if they're in a heterosexual relationship, or vice versa gay in a homosexual one. Maybe distance yourself from your friend who says that stuff for a bit too, because that's really not supportive and there's no way she could have just known that you were 'straight', that's so rude to assume you can know someone else's sexuality better than them.
I agree with waternation^, that's totally rude, not to mention very disrespectful. What I like to do in such situations is to stand my ground. In a smiliar situatio, I would say (for me) "Look, I like women as well, okay? At least I'm physically attracted to them." And I wouldn't back off until they apologize and take back; sooner would I leave. A bit off topic maybe, but it's like when I was buying groceries some weeks ago and a guy in the line was totally rude. I'd had to run back and get a new bag of pasta because mine had a hole in it. When I came back I started unloading my groceries and he was like "You can do it faster, right? That's nicer to the rest of us." And I looked at him and said "I am unloading right now, can't you tell?" And I waited until he looked away and said "yeah..." and then I finished my business. His son was there or I might have hit him, I wasn't in a good mood... Anyway, you have a right to self identification and to date whoever you like! Don't let anyone tell you what to do or who you are. xoxo
Thank you both for the replies, and I intend to tell this girl that what she said was very disrespectful. I finally embraced the fact that it's okay if I don't have all the answers right now, and I'm not gonna let anyone other than me tell me that I have to define as something.
If we all had the answers to life at 19 the world would be a lot better! But we don't. We can only do our best for the moment we're in. You are showing some real wisdom and letting yourself explore and not worry too much about the haters.
