Ok so I realize there is no " normal" persay as fas as sexuality goes but i'm wondering after having read up a bit on things if it is really common for straight women to fantasize about other women. I mean, and not actually be into women. I ask partially because I'm really worried I might do something drastic in my marriage ( to a man) thinking that I MAY like women only to have it turn out not so much. I took a "Kinsey test" and I'm a 3.... Which seems not at all helpful. I have never even kissed a woman before, so i literally have no comparision life experience wise to help me decide. I have always found sex with guys to be enjoyable, I orgasam and all that, but it seems.... Awkward.... Even with different guys in wildly different circumstances. (Prior to being married) thought of women seem "hotter" and more exciting but again, grass is greener maybe!?!? I just don't know! I see the occassional girl and think she's cute but I do not think most supermodels, actresses and etc are attractive, but maybe just not my "type"? Definatly not a "oh, boobs are hot" or other more classical straight guy type of response.
Okay but do you find womens only sexually attractive sometimes or romanticaly too? I mean.. can you imagine being with a girl till end of your life, wake up next to her in the morning, grab her hand or stuff like this?
It's true that fantasies are not the best thing to base a major decision on, but it sounds to me like there might be more than that going on. I see two separate issues here that need to be dealt with separately. a) Your sexuality: Fantasizing about having sex with women could possibly indicate some bisexual tendencies. Your comment about not seeing girls the way "straight guys" do doesn't have to mean anything. Not all people who are attracted to women will be attracted in the same way, to the same things. You'll want to ask yourself some questions: Which gender(s) can you be sexually attracted to? Which gender(s) can you see yourself having sex with? Which gender(s) could you want to kiss, date, fall in love with? Which gender(s) do you get crushes on? It's totally possible to know your sexuality without having "experience" or "trying it out," so there's no reason your confusion should put your marriage at risk. But that leads me to the next point b) Your current relationship and marriage: This isn't about whether you like women, but whether you like men. Even if you are bisexual, that technically shouldn't change anything in your relationship. But it sounds like you've considered cheating, experimenting, or leaving your relationship over your confusion about your sexuality. The thing is, if you leave, and then realize you're definitely straight... It might not have been that big of a mistake, because apparently there was something missing in your relationship anyway. It sounds like there's more going on than just some confusion. Are you happy in your current relationship? Are you attracted to your husband? Do you want to be with him?
Yeah, I could see myself with a woman romantically for sure. I do find some thing attractive just casually observing people. A cute butt, a nice smile, etc. I also dream about women too, which as that's not conscious thought.... Seemed more significant to me. Yes my marriage has issues too, some not related to my sexuality, some maybe related to it. My husband is a war vet who went through major ptsd. He finally got it treated but by then he'd been pushing me away for so long i think i just... Numbed to it. Now i don't feel emotionally connected to him at all. Or physically attracted. He knows this, I have been 100% honest with him about all of this including the women question. He's hurt and a bit angry right now. Understandable since he thought all was well. I see him as my best friend. We're going to start counseing, I don't want to end our 10 year marriage without trying everything. I guess I'm just trying to get a handle on the part that only I can figure out, my sexuaity. We also have very young children so very, very much is riding on this. ---------- Post added 15th Nov 2015 at 01:51 AM ---------- Oh and I can see myself dating, and being with a woman, and though sex with a woman is a bit scary it's more like a... Being a virgin scared, overwhleming type of thing. I never really had a crush on a woman, but I got married fairly young (21) and I am not at all a cheater or anything so other people just never entered my brain. Guys either.
Make sure that you sort the difference between your aesthetic, sexual, and romantic attraction. Don't just convince yourself of anything. You have been married for 10 years, so there is probably something there for both of you. Do you still love your husband? If you do, try to understand if your feelings are platonic or romantic. Personally, this is not a factor for me in marriage, but I understand if it is for you.
