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Difference between physical, sexual and romantic attraction

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by ClosetedSean, Nov 15, 2015.

  1. ClosetedSean

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    I'm a little confused understanding the definitions of physical, sexual and romantic attraction and how they impact your sexuality. I want to know if your sexuality is determined only by one of these or a mix of all three.

    I always thought physical attraction was your interest in a person's body, while sexual was your interest in sex and romantic was your capability to love someone. A few people have said physical and sexual attraction are the same thing, which makes sense, though physical sounds more aesthetic than sexual, which involves activity. I'm a little confused.

    Pretending these definitions are correct, I'm attracted to each sex in this way.

    Physical: men, women
    Sexual: men
    Romantic: men, women (seems to be disappearing in favour of men)

    What actually defines your sexuality then? I'm under the impression it's a mix of the three, or two if physical and sexual attraction are the same thing.
     
  2. Charon

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    I always feel both physical and sexual attraction. After all, why would I feel sexually attracted to him if I don't find him physically attractive. Romantic attraction? That's a different story.
     
  3. DinelodiiGitli

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    By physical attraction do you mean sensual?

    Aesthetic attraction: Wanting to look at a person because you find the 'pretty'.

    Romantic attraction: Wanting to be in a romantic relationship with an individual.

    Sensual attraction: Wanting to touch someone, i.e. hug, cuddle, etc.

    Sexual attraction: Wanting to engage in some form of sexual act with an individual.

    Platonic attraction: Wanting to be friends with someone.
     
  4. ClosetedSean

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    Nah, meant physical as in aesthetic... but these are way more accurate! Thanks, these will really clear up my head and help others out too. What would you say determines our sexuality though? I guess I could class the sexes like this:

    Aesthetic: men, women

    Romantic: men (greater), women (lesser)

    Sensual: men

    Sexual: men

    Platonic: men, women (mostly have male friends, few female friends)

    I like the look of the female body, and I rarely have romantic feelings towards the opposite sex... but thinking, I have no real desire to touch their body or have sex with them. In terms of men, I'm picky with who I find attractive, mostly effeminate guys around my age, but I have strong urges to have sensual experiences with men, like rubbing our bodies together, and to have sex with them. Would aesthetic attraction really be considered proper sexuality? I can tell a girl is sexy but... doesn't do much for me as much as it used to.
     
    #4 ClosetedSean, Nov 15, 2015
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  5. DinelodiiGitli

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    Generally it's just sexual attraction which determines your sexual orientation however if you experience romantic attraction to men and women you might find the term 'biromantic homosexual' or 'biaesthetic homosexual' to be helpful. Those are romantic and aesthetic orientations.

    While it's uncommon to see the labels used outside of certain circles due to most people having no distinction between different forms of attraction (because for most aesthetic, sexual, sensual and sexual attraction all sort of link together) the terms can still be helpful.
     
  6. ClosetedSean

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    Yeh, those sound about right. Thanks for helping me clear this up, I understand myself a lot more now. That's why I was confused, I want to be with men and have sex with them, but I still like the female body. I find certain labels like these can help me a whole lot, so thank you so much! I guessed they were intertwined in some way but yeh, in terms of sexual attraction, I'm gay and I have no doubt about that. It was just my attraction to females that was tripping me up, giving me second thoughts and stuff. I can define myself as either of those two you've mentioned but, for simplicity's sake, I'll just stick with gay.
     
    #6 ClosetedSean, Nov 15, 2015
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  7. DinelodiiGitli

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    Certainly, it was no trouble and I was happy to help.
     
  8. loveislove01

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    Biaesthetic isn't really a thing. It's just acknowledging how something looks nice. Sexual and romantic feelings are a totally different feeling. I mean, straight people find same-sex attractive, but would never date someone of the same sex. I mean, I find guys hot (clothed, lol) but I'd never have sex, and most likely never date a male.

    It's like going to the store and looking at a nice pair of jeans, but when you try them on, they may not look great on you. That's aesthetic attraction.
     
  9. YuriBunny

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    I think they generally say that romantic and sexual attraction are the kinds that determine your orientation. The other kinds are mostly irrelevant. So yeah, you're probably just plain gay.
     
  10. ClosetedSean

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    Thanks! I understand fully what you mean. That's what confused me, I still found women physically attractive but was unsure if I'd want to have sex with them, so I started thinking whether or not looks contributed to sexuality. I was, and am, convinced that they don't really when you put it that way. I can tell someone's beautiful and I'd stare at them for hours if I could, but I might not necessarily have any sexual feelings towards them.

    ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2015 at 10:45 PM ----------

    Yup, coming to terms with that now. I'm just gay, no doubt about it.
     
  11. the rainbow rat

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    I know this post is pretty old, but:

    Aesthetic: women, a tiny bit men

    Romantic: women (I can only imagine myself enjoying/being myself/not feeling stiff and awkward and living with a woman)

    Sensual: women

    Sexual: women and men (I get turned on by the thought of having sex with a guy but I prefer a women’s body and have ‘spontaneous’ fantasies with women, not men - what does that mean?)

    Platonic: women

    Does this mean I'm a lesbian? I've been questioning for a while (basically since March-April, but gone into more detail in June - does that make sense?) and gone from labelling myself as bi to lesbian to homoflexible... The first time I took the Kinsey Scale test I got a 4, I then took it again a while later (on the same website) and got a 6, I think I might be a 5 but I'm not sure...:bang:

    Also, if I'm right and I am 90% gay, 10% straight then could I label myself as lesbian (I only want to be in a romantic relationship with a girl atm)?

    (I'm 13 by the way)
     
    #11 the rainbow rat, Sep 17, 2016
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  12. the rainbow rat

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    And I hope it's okay if I ask on here (since I wasn't the OP or anything), I'm new to this so I'll probably mess up a lot lol
     
    #12 the rainbow rat, Sep 17, 2016
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  13. Creativemind

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    Physical to me is the same as sexual attraction, unless you're referring it to aesthetic attraction, which is when someone looks good.

    There is NO such thing as a person who is not aesthetically attracted to both genders at least to some extent, so this does not impact your sexuality. I can think my sister looks nice without being incestuous, and think shoes look nice without being a foot fetishist.
     
  14. Chip

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    If I were to guess based on what you've said, I'd say yes, it does.

    Don't get wrapped up in the idea of differences between the attractions; there's no credible evidence the separations even really exist. The label is less important than how you feel, and what it sounds like is nearly all of your attraction and arousal is toward women. Therefore... most likely you're a lesbian. Of course, this is something only you can know for sure, so don't take my word for it... look inside yourself and see how that feels (recognizing it might feel scary at first.. the question is does it feel authentic.)
     
  15. the rainbow rat

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    Thanks so much! You've helped a lot :slight_smile: Now just to get my brain wrapped around this idea...I'm quite uncertain/indecisive in general, so it'll probably take a while for me to feel 100% sure of myself..
     
  16. Joelouis

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    You've just described my feelings perfectly, except I'm a guy!
     
    #16 Joelouis, Sep 17, 2016
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  17. YuriBunny

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    I would guess you're probably a lesbian.

    Don't get hung up on aesthetics, as some lesbians repeatedly doubt themselves just because they think a guy looks good. That's not really a factor.

    Lesbians can be turned on by guys. Human beings can be turned on by almost anything in the right circumstances. :lol:
     
  18. the rainbow rat

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    Oh, I didn't know that.. I think knowing this will help me stop questioning my sexuality a lot sooner, thank you! :slight_smile: