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Bisexual vs Pansexual

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by NekoAlex, Nov 16, 2015.

  1. NekoAlex

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    I used to see being pansexual as a form of bisexuality and didn't really see the difference, but I'm starting to think that I wasn't right. I met some bisexual people who aren't attracted to transgender people. I even met a bisexual trans guy who doesn't want to date another trans person, because he doesn't feel attracted to them and doesn't like the idea of having sex with a man who doesn't have penis or a woman who doesn't have a vagina. It turns him off.

    I always used to think that if you're bi, you will like both sexes and you wouldn't mind having sex with a person who has either a penis or a vagina. So, what difference does it make if the owner of the penis/vagina is a man, woman or another gender? And if you like both men and women, why would their parts matter? Also, why wouldn't a bisexual person date a non-binary person, who is a little bit of both? I think it would be great dating somebody who is neither 100% female or 100% male. So, I guess being pansexual is not a form of bisexuality after all? Just some thoughts...
     
    #1 NekoAlex, Nov 16, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2015
  2. DreamerBoy17

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    It seems that everyone makes their own form of bisexual to an extent. Each person has their own preferences when it comes to dating and sex. Pansexual is basically that assurance that the person is going to date anyone, and doesn't have any of those small preferences like in bisexuality. Basically, the terms vary by the person.
     
  3. Alder

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    There is so much debate on the terms bisexual and pansexual. I don't even personally understand all of it, nor am I up to date on some of the controversies going on with this issue particularly.

    But I personally ID as bisexual, and I could date/be interested in anyone of any gender...binary or not. And to me, a transman is a man, and a transwoman a woman, so I really don't see the issue there even if I were against dating anyone who doesn't strictly fall under the binary. Which I'm not against in the first place. To me, it's all very simple in my head- if I'm attracted to you then I am, and there aren't really any terms and conditions that come with it. I can't obviously speak on behalf of any group of people, but I'm fairly certain plenty of those who identify as bisexual feel similarly. Then again, maybe some do not. I really don't know.
    Also, I might have a preference for a certain gender, but that doesn't limit me in any way either. I can still very well be attracted to and date people of any gender.

    From what I hear, pansexuality is generally considered under the bisexual umbrella, (or vice versa?) The definitions get somewhat technical from what I've seen, and a lot of the times they depend more on the person themselves. But like I said, I'm not really as informed as I could be on the ongoing debates about this. So...just my two cents. I can't advocate for anybody, but my bisexuality doesn't negate me, at all, from dating or being interested in trans or nonbinary folks.
     
    #3 Alder, Nov 17, 2015
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  4. looking for me

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    emphasis mine,

    this is my feeling on Bi vs Pan, i am attracted to the person no matter the plumbing. although i do lean strongly towards those with a penis. for me Bi works, for others Pan works and for others im sure something else will work mostly an individual thing.
     
  5. darkcomesoon

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    They can be pretty interchangeable. The difference is basically that bisexual can include all genders but doesn't have to. People who like all genders can be described as pansexual or bisexual, while people who like only two genders would only be described by the word bisexual.

    The preference for not dating binary trans people is weird to me and is probably due to (unconscious) transphobia, because if you like penises and you like vaginas, the only reason to not like a guy with a vagina or a girl with a penis is that you think that combination is "icky" or "weird", which is transphobic, even if not intentionally so. Regardless, it's a preference, not a sexuality, because binary trans people aren't a separate gender.
     
  6. SouthernGeek

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    I disagree with your assessment about transphobia. One's sexual preferences can include all sorts of physical characteristics, and the combination of those traits one finds attractive can go all over the place.

    I'm not attracted to men who are effeminate in certain traits. It's really hard to describe, but I don't enjoy men who are shaven smooth, but if they are naturally devoid of a lot of body hair I find it attractive. I'm okay with hairy men, too.

    Women I'm attracted to are more effeminate but not on the far end of the "girly" spectrum. I know, this probably sounds weird, but it's really difficult putting preferences in words.

    Even within those two groups there are certain "looks" that do something for me. Hair color, eye color, the shape of their face, all kinds of weird things I just can't explain but I know it when I see it.

    I won't say there will never be a transsexual that I find sexually attractive, but so far I haven't. Has nothing to do with any sort of "phobia" any more than me being "lankyphobic" because I don't prefer very skinny people (of either gender).

    Now that I re-read this I probably sound like a nut job. But oh well, that's me.(!)