So I've seen through google this issue has been raised once or twice over the last few years (btw, I've literally signed up just to write about this) So for the most part since I was about 16 I found my first boyfriend and realised that I was far more happier and comfortable as a gay guy, from being previously 'bisexual', I found what suited me. However as I've grown older, I've noticed in me, a change in my sexual attractions? Women. However it's like.. I'm not on any kind of spectrum, in my eyes? Bisexual seems to sound a bit too much of a 50/50 split for me. I could wake up and be completely interested in guys but another day, have a strong urge for women? It's never strictly one thing or the other except that my interest in men always stays as a foundation. I have a friend who knows a lot about this stuff, he's gone through a lot with his own gender identity and sexuality and he told me about the term 'homoflexible' which in it's description kind of sums up how I've been feeling recently. Fact is, it feels far too confusing to explain this 'sudden' change to people, friends or family who have known me as a gay guy for years? Bare in mind, I've done nothing with girls, only drunken kissing as a laugh but I can't help this feeling of 1. An urge to be more open and expressive with my sexuality 2. Somehow find it to be more active and experimental without completely freaking people out. I guess life is just damn confusing, but any words of advice on addressing some of these issues would be amazing. Peace.
From my personal experience, I came out as lesbian a few months ago to a few friends, and now I just started dating a guy. This caused me a lot of stress because, just when I thought that I had finally figured out who I was, everything got confusing again. Now I just decided that I'll go with the flow and see what happens without giving myself a label because, although right now I feel I could fall for either a guy or a girl, which woul mean I'm bi, I'm still more attracted to girls physically, which would make me homoflexible. I suggest you give yourself some time to explore with both genders, don't rush things like I did.
Sound advice! For me it's nothing quite emotionally driven.. Like it is with guys, just not girls.. Purely sexual, I guess? I won't rush anything for sure, it's just damn confusing when you don't know what it is you're feeling half the time
Oh the trouble of being somewhere in the grey area... Personally, I identify as bisexual although it does give people the idea that I like guys and girls equally, which is not true. I also lean more towards the same gender than anything else but I'm still attracted to guys and want to be/am open for a relationship with a guy. In the end, I believe that you are the one who gets to "say" what the label you identify with means to you. There is no checklist for being gay and I don't think that being "homoflexible" excludes you from identifying as gay. If you want to be more open and maybe a little more experimental without freaking people out you might want to consider talking to people about sexual fluidity and maybe some of them will get it. And some never will but that's just life... Anyways, that's how I see it.
For sure! I've spoken to a few of my friends already and my closest friends seem to understand and they've been quite helpful, but they're all straight males haha I totally needed to hear a girls perspective considering I've never spoken to girls about anything to do with sex unless it's a previous encounter? I sure hope I won't freak people out, I dunno how I'd approach a situation where I could potentially have that moment with a girl. I know one of my friends said he's known girls that absolutely hate the idea of sleeping with a guy who's slept with guys. At the same time, is it better off being a complete dive in with no experience or should I try and seek like.. Someone who could form an understanding first? I think a lot of it is just the fear of not knowing what would be right or wrong haha But thanks so much for this
I have to get ready for work, but I wanted to. Leave a quick reply. I have recently started thinking of myself as demisexual towards men. I can appreciate male faces and sometimes bodies as aesthetic, and even assign sexual things to them but ONLY if I am emotionally connected to them. Otherwise, even if I try, it's gross after a few seconds. I haven't got it all figured out. I think I am Demisexual through and through. But, it seems that women have always been attractive to me, much much easier than guys. I have a story I want to tell, just about my specifics; but like I said I have to go. So, I'll be back. I'm realizing more and more sexuality, like many things in life is a spectrum. I should make a graph.
I sympathize with your situation. Society doesn't leave much room for bisexual guys, so there is a tendency to assume that if your attracted to guys, you must automatically be 100% gay. And many gay scenes refuse to acknowledge the existence of bisexuality or homoflexibility. It is true that some women are grossed out by men who have slept with other men. But it is also true that some women - particularly straight glbtq allies and some bisexual women - find gay men attractive and the thought of two guys together very hot. So my suggestion is to try to meet women who are into gay/queer men, and see if they are open to messing around with you. There are some women who will jump at the chance!! It will be important to make sure your up front with her, though, that this would be a no strings attached kinda thing. You don't want her to fall in love with you because it sounds like your not sure that your romantically interested women. You don't want to hurt her dealing or be a cad or a jerk. I'd suggest looking online, or going to glbtq events or mixers. Alternatively, another approach, if your comfortable with it, is the try a mmf threesome. There are plenty of bimale-female couples that want occasional threesomes with guys so the guy can play with another guy, and the woman can watch and/or participate. You can find ads for this type of thing with some regularity on cr**gslist. You could correspond with some couples, and explain that your gay but curious about women, and would like mess around with the guy, and then perhaps try something with the women. If you find a couple that you feel comfortable with that are comfortable with what your proposing, then YAZTEE! Perhaps the guy could even give you some pointers on how to pleasure the woman. Lol! As always, though, meet first in a neutral third place first - like for coffee - to get to know each other and make sure its a good fit. And be careful and safe. Let a friend know where your going, etc.
